Vaccines, Accountability, Cookies, And A Tribute

      I finally secured an appointment for my mom to get the Covid 19 vaccine. It was an ordeal, not just in the multiple failed attempts, but the actual success as well. The website is an absolute trainwreck. The state has supposedly made a new website to correct the problem, but that one is just as bad. Regardless, I now have the stress of getting an appointment for my mom off my shoulders. Now it's just getting her to the appointment tomorrow, and then once again in a month. After that is the full on stress of trying to find out when I'll be eligible for the vaccine. More than likely I will get stuck with the subpar Johnson & Johnson vaccine which is only 66% effective. If I had my way, I would not get that one, but beggars can't be choosers, and I'm begging for the vaccine, so I'll take what I can get.

      I have some pictures for you. They are a week late, but the accountability photos are here, and they ain't pretty.

     This is the current situation. I took these on Thursday I believe. If it wasn't that day, it's within a day either way. Remember I do not edit these other than cropping to get a closer up look rather than the distance shot I need to take to get my whole body in there. Here comes the ugly now.

     I look atrocious, mostly from lack of a tan, but also because there is a lot of fat there, that wasn't there b before. I'm back to that long way from where I want to be, but I'll get there. I also think I need to put in much more ab work this time, which will be starting soon. I'm 4 weeks in at this point, and at last weigh in on Friday I was at 165.6 which is exactly where I was on Monday. I'm not disappointment by that. It's all part of everything. I will weigh in again tomorrow and I'm hoping to be down at least a half a pound. That would have me right on track for where I'm supposed to be. I'm sticking with the 8 weeks and not breaking plan. This has been difficult this week, and you'll see why in the next paragraph.

     As you know, I'm a big fan of Lady Gaga. About a month ago, she posted on social media that she has collaborated with Oreo to create her own limited edition cookie. The Lady Gaga Chromatica Oreo. It's really just their golden cookie except the wafers are died pink and the creme is green. A few weeks ago, they finally released them in individual snack packs that you could find at convenience stores. I couldn't find them around here, and online the going price was ridiculous. I'm talking $9 for a 6 cookie pack. I'm a fan, but I'm not spending that much for a few cookies. On Wednesday of last week Oreo finally released the full packs. You know, the normal size Oreo packs you get in the grocery stores. A friend of mine was out and about and took it upon himself to try and find them, with no luck. I scoured the web with no luck. Even Oreo's own web store didn't have them. I figured I would never get my hands on them. the next day all of that changed. They showed up in my local grocery store, so I was able to get me some of those normal golden cookies just a different color.

     That's something to behold right there. As stated above, I'm still going strict for another 4 weeks, so I can't break into these cookies until after that. I know what they taste like, cause they are just the golden cookies, but it's the fun of having them in a different color that makes it all that much more desirable. I'll just have to wait.

     One more picture of food for you. It's my dinner from the other night. Since this time around I've limited greatly my dairy, I had a couple of burger patties without and cheese on them. Not cheese means it's hard to put peppers on them without them falling all over the place. The fix for that also came from my buddy. He dropped off a bottle of Tabasco's Scorpion sauce, which is their normal Tabasco, only it's made with Trinidad Moruga Scorpions. I tried it immediately, and it was hot, but I felt like it was a little light for what it should be. That changed after having it on these burgers. Just a reminder, morugas are right up there with reapers in heat, a little lower, but really close. I doused my burgers in the sauce and the first burger went pretty easy. It was on that second patty that the heat really kicked in and by the end, I was glad I was done. It had that throbbing heat that smoothly transitioned into actual pain in my lips. The heat was legit and that made me happy.

     I can't wait to have more of that sauce. I should have put it on my eggs this morning, but I forgot. Oh well, there is plenty more to put it on.

     Ok, time for Favorite Song of the Week and this one was sent to me just today from the dearest of dearest friends. It's a brand new cover of an old song by an old band, but when I say they nail it, they absolutely nail this song. It was sent to me in a Rolling Stone article, I'm not going to torture you with the atrocity that is the article where they say things like this band brings a new wave sound to this classic. Instead I'm going to just let you watch the video from the bands very own YouTube page. I happily give you Duran Duran with their brand new cover of the David Bowie classic "5 Years".

     I discussed with her, why this cover worked so well. 1. Simon has similar tonal qualities to Bowie. 2. They don't over do it. They do a simple version that is there own. 3. Even though it is a simple version that is their own, it sounds very much like they did it as if Bowie was doing it himself today. It's a beautiful arrangement that I fully believe that David Bowie would be very pleased and proud of. The back up singers, the all female quartet, the subtle nods to looks from Bowie's past in their outfits, and let's not overlook Nick Rhodes being absolutely on point. That look was everything and I love the frazzled tie. I can't not point out that the gentleman on piano is Bowie's very own pianist, so the tribute to David Bowie is everywhere in this video. Appreciate it for the pure joy that it is.

Peace in and goodnight.

Social Lockdown

      I didn't write this yesterday because I put myself on a self imposed social media lockdown. Frankly I was just tired of seeing the Bernie memes, so to avoid the remainder of the lifecycle of a popular meme, I just shut down for 48 hours. It worked for the most part. I did by chance see one today, but that was it so far.

      I failed to get the accountability photos yet, but I did get one photo of the beard with the indigo dye in it so that you can hopefully make out that it is degrees of purple and blue, which is kind of fantastic.

      It has faded quite bit, but it is still holding the color longer than the Arctic Fox, which I do like, but I will probably use that when I want a quick 1 or 2 days worth of bright fun color. I did weigh in this morning and was down another pound, putting me in the 165 club again. I have increased my cardio and have switched up my fasting times to keep my body confused. It's working out really well. I've also had a few low calorie intake days as a form of feeding fasting. I'm really just making that name up, because I don't know if it's a thing. It's not true fasting because I'm taking in more calories than what some forms of fasting allow, and it is an insulin spike which stops fat burning, but for me, it's just another way to mix things up. I am 3 weeks into my 8 week commitment and all is going well and as planned, but I have had some strange cravings recently which could be a result of stress. It's been a very long time since I've actually wanted a real burger, bun and all, but recently that has been in my head. It will pass eventually.

     I have a few show recommendations for you. I've been on a Korean kick on Netflix lately and found some really good ones. The first is The Uncanny Counters, which is about a group of people that are teamed up after being connected to a spiritual being so that they can fight and retrieve evil spirits. The bond with the spirit beings gives them superpowers so that they can catch those evils spirits. The twist is on the fact that the evil spirits can level up with each kill. They start at level 1 when they are infected by the spirit and make their first kill. After their second they can reach level 2. 3 or more gets them to level 3 but it's not guaranteed that they will level up. Then the final level is Fully Complete, and that is when the evil spirit and person become whole. I watch it with the subtitles because I can't stand when the voice doesn't match up with the mouth movement, but if you want, you can go into settings and play the dubbed version. They have weekly episode drops and so far they are on episode 15. At least that is as far as I've gotten. I'm really loving this show.

     The second show is Rugal. This is also a superhero themed type of show. In this one Rugal is a secret agency that takes real people and gives them upgrades, so to say. The main character was a cop that had his eyes gouged out when his wife was murdered and he was left for dead. Rugal put artificial eyes into him and a chip that regulates blood flow. These two together give him enhanced abilities to help Rugal take down ARGOS the crime syndicate that had him murdered, but there is a very big twist in this one that I can't divulge because it is a definite spoiler. The first season is up and from the finale it appears there will be a season 2. Once again this is a fun show that is really good. Korea is putting out some exceptional shows and you should give them a try if you like the whole crime drama/superhero vibe that they are giving off.

     There are dogs back in the White House and if you didn't know, one of them is a rescue. Champ and Major are the Biden's two german shepards and they moved into the White House yesterday. Also, if you want to follow along on their First Dog adventures you can at their very own Twitter Champ & Major Biden Give them a follow, you won't regret it. It's full of pictures and videos of two happy pups.

      In Reality, that is my favorite thing this week but I really want to share a song with you. Friday night was one of the rare occasions that I wanted to have a drink again. I've made it 4 years so far without a drop of alcohol and although I had that old desire, I didn't act on it. Part of the reason is the stress of dealing with caring for my mom, the other was just what I was doing at the time. I was sitting outside with a fire going in the pit while listening to Lady Day. I used to always have a fantasy of sitting back listening to her and having a drink in my hand. It was one of those life in the 60's dream penthouse fantasies. You know the one, where the business man comes home from a long day of work in his suit and walks through the door and goes straight to the small bar next to the foyer and pours a scotch with a couple of ice cubes, and just sits back and relaxes. That was the mood I was in sitting by the fire. I had Bille Holiday playing over the speaker with the fire going and the only thing that seemed to be missing as that drink in my hand. Anyway, while I was sitting there, Billie's version of "I'll Be Seeing You" came on, and it just sent me, so that is the song I'm sharing today. Please enjoy Lady Day, Billie Holiday with her version of "I'll Be Seeing You". 

     I love me some Billie and will share her voice any time I can. I truly hope this week finds you well. Peace in and goodnight.

It Will Get Better

       The days seem to last forever right now. I haven't decided if that is a good or bad thing yet. I weighed in on Friday and was up a lbs. which wasn't a surprise at all. It just means my body is adapting to what I'm doing and I need to change things up a little bit, which is what I did this weekend. I've alternated from high carb, which for me right now is around 20 grams, to very low carb, which is below 10 grams. I'm also sure that the added pound was water weight as well. The mirror doesn't lie and I've noticed the change in my body from when I start this 8 week plan 3 weeks ago. I keep forgetting to take accountability photos, but I'll get on that this week. I have increased my workouts and have been consistent as well, which was something that was severely lacking for a while. I'm still lackadaisical with my cardio though, but that will change.

     I did however get a quick photo of the beard. I've tried out the hennalabs product, and I think I might like it better than Arctic Fox. That was the brand name of the colored dyes that I got. I forgot to mention that before.

     I will say this though. The Arctic Fox smells much better. Both are derived from plants and are vegan. The Arctic Fox smells like berries, while the Hennalabs smells like overcooked greens. The good news is that that rather pungent fragrance only is apparent when you apply the dye and when you take a hot shower. I'm guessing the heat activates it again. It's the same with the Arctic Fox. I don't have a picture of the Hennalabs, but you can look them up if you like. I tried out the indigo, and I'm loving the color of the beard. It goes between hues of black, purple and blue. It all depends on the color of the hair that it coats. The surprising part is that you get those colors when the powder which you turn into a paste is a deep olive green, almost Army green. It's rather fascinating. Anyway, here is the new beard.     

     You can't really see the depth of color in there, so I'll try to get a photo out in the sunlight either tomorrow or some other day this week. I got two colors of the HennaLabs, this indigo and black. I'm going to hold out on the black for a while, since I do like this one so much. This is also a learning process for me. Dying your hair is kind of an art form that takes practice to get it right. You of course can slap it on and enjoy the results, but in order to get it right, it takes some time and effort. This is a fun learning experience for me. Its given me a lot to think about. There is a barber school near my house that not only teaches you how to cut and color hair, but they also have classes for make up artists as well. It might be something worth looking into. It is definitely something I enjoy doing. Not to mention that when I had hair, I used to cut it myself from my freshman year in high school. Yes I had long hair for much of the time in high school, but my senior year I changed my hairstyle every week for the entire year. It went from long to short to long again. I didn't know what I was doing it all, but I made it work, and my hair looked pretty good with no overly crazy bad looks. If I got some training, I think I could be pretty darn good at it. That's for something at another time though, since I can't really leave the house.

     Oh, just wanted to throw this out there. I enjoy playing Pokémon GO, and I have a research task where I have to make a new friend in order to pass the task. Since I'm rather antisocial, this is very much against everything that I am, so I'm going to take a shot and give you my trainer code, and if you play as well, please add me. I can promise that I will send gifts each day. I do it every morning and since that vast majority of my current friends lists never opens or doesn't send gifts back, I always have plenty to send, so if you play add this code.

     I guess that brings us to Favorite Song of the Week. This week is another one from Foo Fighters. This song was very relatable to me based on the story behind it. I'm going to go out of order here and give you the title before the story. It's called "Waiting on a War".  Basically since Dave Grohl grew up in D.C. the overlooking threat of war was all around. That is very much how I grew. Since I was on the Space Coast between Kennedy Space Center and Patrick Air Force Base, we would always have discussions about what would happen when I was a kid. We all came to the conclusion that it would be over rather quickly for us, since we were in First Strike zones. What that means is that if a nuclear attack was coming, we were going to get hit first. Major cities, and military installations were high priority targets and with the Space Center and the home of the Strategic Air Command being so close, we were as good as done for. We wouldn't even have time to get under our desks, which by the way was so they might have a slim chance of identifying the bodies since there was something that would block potential burning. Anyone in a 50 mile radius was going to die. Anyway, that is what this song is about. Him growing up in a place that was going to see action regardless of if it was nuclear or conventional, Washington D.C. was a First Strike target. Here is the Foo Fighters with "Waiting on a War". 

     I hope you have a wonderful week. I know I will because Inaguration day is this week and Lady Gaga is singing the National Anthem. I will not miss it. Peace in and goodnight.

I'm Not Going To Talk About

      I'm going to avoid the elephant in the room which was the insurrection that occurred this week. I'm not going to talk about how certain politicians are calling for unity after trying to divide the country by voting against certifying a free and fair election. I'm not going to talk about how now 6 people have died as a result of that insurrection, where one was a definite hero that deserves praise and his name Officer Brian Sicknick should be remembered, and the others not only lost their lives in comically stupid ways, but were members of a mob that attempted to overthrow the government. Oh, an I won't mention that the officer that took his life, could be a result of this insurrection and that there are rumors that they have ties to being a part of it themselves. I'm not going to talk about how a gallon was erected outside of the Capitol building with the intent to hang the line of succession. I'm not going to talk about how rightwing media posts are calling for more attempts at insurrection to happen, and that they are planning on unrest on and around the inauguration of Biden/Harris. I'm not going to talk about how only a small fraction of arrests have been made of what should actually be. I'm not going to talk about how that entire day was an advertisement (and yes you better pronounce Ad-ver-tisment) for white privilege. I'm not going to talk about all this because it should all be evident at this time, and if you don't see it all, I can't help you in understanding it.

     After all of the above, it is impossible to segue into something else. So I'm not even going to attempt a segue and just jump right in. I implore you to not let your guard down and stop wearing a mask, washing your hands, and being exceptionally careful about your surroundings. My governor has complete failed in his task to protect the people of his state, and the vaccine rollout is a joke. My local health department is in charge of distribution of the vaccine, and they had a registration list you can get on to get a vaccine if you meet the requirements. My mom meets those requirements, but the list was closed within minutes of goin live. Dates for vaccine stop at January 28 and there is no information on when it will open back up. They have no idea when more vaccine is coming. I've already resigned to the fact that I won't get vaccinated until probably June at the earliest. I will continue to wear a mask and to all of my above pleas above until after I've gotten the full vaccine, and maybe even after I've received it. As far as I know there is no information on just how long the vaccine is affective and I don't want to either get the virus or unknowingly spread it.  I would rather die than know that I was responsible for people getting sick because of me. I honestly don't see an end to all of this until two years from now when the virus has completely run its course. We as a country are too selfish and stupid to do the simplest of things which are the right things to do. I really just want to win the lottery and move to New Zealand. Even if I don't I full heartedly see myself being en ExPat in the future.

     Ok, Favorite Thing of the Week time. You may recognize this little girl from her epic drum battle with Dave Grohl from Foo Fighters. She is the incomparable Nandi Bushnell, and I'm picking this because, not only did she release it today, but she's a rad little kid. Here is Nandi Bushnell with Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song".

     Peace in and goodnight.

A New Year Of Growth

      It's a new year, which means there is a brand new opportunity for change, growth, and starting over. That is my mindset going into this new unmarked calendar. Although I've already begun somethings, a few will begin soon. The first was returning to strict keto. I have been having a carb day once a week which has gone from good carbs with the occasionally garbage treat, to a whole day of garbage. That just wasn't working for me, so for the next 8 weeks (well 7 since I began this a week and a half ago) I will be clean and strict with keto and my caloric intake. My usual weigh in days are Monday and Friday, but to get a number for you today, I weighed in this morning. Although I don't officially have a starting weight, since I didn't weigh in the day I began, I did weigh in soon after at 172.8. That is not where I want to be, although outside of being rather soft for my taste, I'm still rather lean. I weighed in this morning at 167.8. That is 5 pounds in less than  a week. Granted most of that is more than likely water weight, but the fundamental difference in how I feel from right before I began to now, would say that it's more than water. Even with only that one carb day, I had a constant feel of stomach bloat. It wasn't as noticeable until the first time I skipped my Monday carb day last Monday. Within a few more days I had that old and wonderful feeling of emptiness. When I say empty, I don't mean empty in the sense that I'm in need. It's the total absence of that bloat and a pronounced flatness of my stomach. The other potential benefit is that my skin is almost completely healed from that last little lapse of swelling. Normally when I would get out of the shower, and I didn't use the moisturizer and serum that I have been using, my face would feel stiff and itchy. Today is the first day I've gotten out of the shower and not used any product, and my skin feels great. I still have some dryness, but that could be seasonable, since I've always had drier skin in the winter, as most people do. My sleep patterns have reverted to how they were before, which I'm thankful for. I love being up in the early morning hours where there is nothing but silence and stillness. It is truly peaceful and I pity those night owls that don't get to experience the tranquility of an early morning.

      With the change in my diet, I've always gotten back to the habit of working out daily. It's not easy, and I didn't expect it to. I knew that I've fallen quite a few rungs down the ladder, and it's going to take time to get back to where I was. I'm putting in the time to make it happen, and it will.

     I'm going to hit you with my Favorite Thing of the Week now since this ties into all the getting back to a more healthy lifestyle. I finally tried an energy drink that I like. They are called Bang and they are keto friendly. 

     

     These are dirty keto, but they fit in with what I'm doing now. Outside of my protein bars, these are the only processed items that I'm eating. The flavors are unreal. The Birthday Cake Bash takes the normal birthday cake flavor and turns it up a notch by giving you the flavor sensation of the cake itself. Everything else that does that flavor only gets the confetti frosting and leaves the vanilla flavor of the cake out, they nail it on that one. The Radical Skadattle is basically skittles. Power Punch is of course a delightful fruit punch and Star Blast is a good old rocket pop, you know the red, white, and blue popsicle you would get from the ice cream truck. They have a ton of other flavors that I have yet to try and a few more that I have. The Rainbow Unicorn is my least favorite flavor so far. To me it is a mango papaya. It's not bad, but just doesn't have the impact of the others that I have had. Oh, I should mention Sour Heads which is just sweet tarts in a can. Once I have tried them all, which should take several weeks, since I don't but many of them each week at the grocery store, I will tell you which is my favorite. It's a flavorful adventure for sure.

     Before we get back to the changes and growth, I have one more drink to share with you. It's Mountain Dews new flavor. They have it in both the sugary sweet form (which I did not try) and the Zero Sugar. It's called Major Melon and it is a new permanent flavor for MD. It tastes exactly like a watermelon Jolly Rancher, and I could see myself getting addicted to it, so I will be watching closely how much I consume.

 

      Once again, not the cleanest of options, but it fits in with what I'm doing now.

       Back to the growth. I started writing a journal. That began today. I doubt I will ever share any of the contents with you, but I may. The goal is to write a page a day, and it can be anything from details of what I have planned for the day (workout, meals, what not), train of thought writing, and possibly poetry. It's been a very long time since I've written prose. I found myself becoming pretentious, and maybe I need a little bit of that right now. Since I only have myself to entertain myself anymore, a little pretension could be a good thing.

      This is one I haven't gotten to yet, but will be soon, and that is removing toxic people from my life. In the past couple of weeks, twice I have had people try and discredit my experiences, and I'm done with that and anyone that will do that. One of them happens to be a family member so that one will be difficult to do, and I won't be able to eliminate them from my life and the current, but I can limit my interaction with them and will be doing so. Eventually they will be eliminated from my life entirely and when that day comes, it will truly be joyous for me. It is definitely something to look forward to.

     Little things will be setting aside time fro creative outlets, like drawing, playing guitar, just creating in general. This all falls under that "I'm the only one entertaining myself" category. I have been playing guitar (well guilele) more, with plans of putting even more effort into it. I have not put the time aside for drawing yet, but I'm getting closer to that happening soon. With the drawing I'm going to attempt to break from what I normally do and find new styles that I like but have always been hesitant to try.

     Lastly, I'm going to leave you with a story from my past that has implications on my future. When I was in high school and either a junior or a senior ( I believe it was my senior year), we had a lesson in what if memory serves me correctly was a life management class, where we had to fill out a questionnaire and then partner up with someone and go over each others answers. I believe the goal was to prove that we have more in common with each other than we know and that we should give each other a chance. The teacher was trying to overcome the teenage tier system, which as we all now is impossible. Oh, I should mention that we were supposed to partner up with someone we had never paired with before and didn't know really well. I basically sat their like a lump because I wasn't really friends with anyone in the class and just waited for someone to turn in my direction. I think it was the teacher that finally paired me with the only other person that hadn't paired up. Her name was Carma. A fitting name when you get the rest of the story. Carma was a very popular girl in the school, but that year had turned goth. I was already goth and basically we were goth before goth was really a thing. We just had a different style from others and even each other. She was the hot goth. Black miniskirts, fishnets, high heels, and ripped tops. I was black clothes and a trench coat. I was boring goth. We sat down and started going over a questionnaires with each other and one answer stood out over anything else in there and I remember it solely to this day. One of the questions was, at what age do you believe you will die. Rather morbid question, but I'm sure the intention was that teenagers believe that they are immortal and will of course say some age like late 80's  or even 100 with the possibility of forever which a few people did pick. Both Carma and I picked the age of 50. The teacher was dumbfounded by our answers and actually told us that we were wrong.

       Just a little addendum to the story, when I saw that answer I fell in love with Carma. I've never hesitated to fall in love even knowing that it was completely unrequited. My failings have always been in acting upon those feelings and even expressing them, but never not allowing myself to fall in love. Those other two things have kept me from experiencing quite a bit of life, but I'm ok with that. Now back to the lesson of the story.

     Up until when I got my health in order, I fully expected to die at the age of 50. It wasn't until then that I wanted to live longer. This year I will be 50 and things truly aren't looking good for hitting 51. Oh, I still want to live longer, but I accept my fate if it is what that morbid prophecy foretold all those years ago back in high school. Everything is still in turmoil with Covid, my mental state is deteriorating because of how my life is right now, and despite my depression being far in the back of my mind, it is still there and I can feel it trying to move forward. As anyone, I don't know what this year has in store for me, but starting a little over a week ago, and with the things I'm planning on doing moving forward, I hope to reach 51 and beyond.

      I was thinking about changing my sign off for this new year, but this is one of those things that still holds true for me. I'd rather you have peace with in than anything else in life, so peace in and goodnight.