I Got An Air Fryer

     Added some more to the garden this week. I know, it still looks pretty trashy right now. I need at least one more plant and then I'm going to redo the fencing around it. I also got some new lights to string through the fencing. Once I get all of that done, then I'll finally lay down the mulch which will make a huge difference in it's appearance. Once again, those pots are there as labels for the time being. I still haven't decided if I want to label each plant or leave them nameless and just enjoy the garden for it's beauty as opposed to knowing what everything is. I still haven't found the right pot for the desert rose either, but it's doing great in it's little nursery pot. Oh, if you look at the bottom of the photo you can see that caramel reaper on the left side and the berry cream on the right. That caramel has exploded this past week because of the rain we've been getting, and the berry cream has easily doubled in size since transplanting it from it's tiny soda can. The caramel reaper has it's first bud as well, which I'm excited about because I really liked that pepper.

     Although I've eaten some pretty sketchy things this week, I haven't gone of the rails again. I wanted to try a few things, still eating with certain parameters so that it doesn't really effect me over all. I tried Burger King's Ch'King sandwich. That is there new entry into the chicken sandwich wars, and Popeye's is still the hands down winner. The Ch'King was rather bland with very little seasoning. It was a breaded chicken breast with a couple of pickles on it, other than that, nothing really to talk about. They do have a deluxe that is dressed and a spicy one, but it seems they just forgot about the flavor.

     Mountain Dew also put out two new flavors that are kind of part of their Baja Blast. They added Baja  Flash and Baja Punch to the limited lineup. The Flash is basically piná colada, which I wasn't a fan of because of the overbearing coconut flavor in it. The Punch was much better in my opinion. It's a tropical punch that is heavy on pine apple, which I really liked. The best is still the lime centric Baja Blast though. It also helps that they began making that in Zero Sugar last year.

     I guess I should discuss my eating parameters. Basically, I've been eating some sketchy carbs, but doing it in a way that minimizes their effects. I've been very low fat on those days, and kept my carbs mostly separate from anything else, maybe a little protein thrown in, to benefit form the way carbs can help absorption of protein. I've maintained my weight but I often feel bloated from the carbs, which really isn't enjoyable. It also makes me look back on all that time that I felt this way constantly, and thought that was just the way it was. In the end this just fortifies my desire to not feel that way and get back to my normal eating habits as soon as possible.

     I still have yet to join that gym near my house. Every time I think about it, my anxiety just rises, and I have to pass on it. It's mostly the whole idea of going to a new place that I don't know, and also the lack of mask wearing from people when I was there. I do know when there low volume hours are, so I can avoid most people, and I would be wearing my own mask, but it still gets the better of me. I either have to just push through it or forget about it all together. I'll let you know how it all ends up.

     I wanted to fill you in on a show I've been watching on Netflix. It's called Word of Honor, and it's a series from China. It's a good old kung fu drama. It is highly fantasy driven, so the martial arts is fantastic and full of wire acrobatics, but it's really good and interesting. It follows to martial artists, that are soul mates, and the unique thing about that, is that they are both men. This is very unusual for something coming out of China. They have kept them more like brothers than lovers, but there are hints there that they want their relationship to be more. One is the former leader of a kung fu sect that has ended the sect and inflicted a curse on himself with 7 nails that are killing him slowly. The other is secretly the head of a malicious organization that is bent on destroying the world, but when he finds his soul mate he begins to see the world in a new way. The best part of this series, is that it right now I'm on episode 36. That is the first season. I don't think there will be another season, but it's so refreshing to have a series on Netflix that is more than 8 freaking episodes. I really don't like this whole new format of Netflix where they will only accept 8-10 episode seasons. I'm sure this is some cost cutting measure by them, but when you consider that each year their rate per year goes up, the least they could do is give you maybe a 16 episode season. Maybe I'm just used to the network standard of 22 episodes a year for a season, but that also allows you to really tell a story and not rush everything. A lot of the new series rush the story because Netflix is cancelling series after a first season and not giving them a real chance to develop a story. I do think this will eventually end Netflix's reign as the premier streaming service to go to. 

    Alright it's time for Favorite Thing of the Week. This past week I took advantage of Prime Days and finally got an air fryer. I've been wanting one for a long time, but in order to get a decent sized one, you had to pay an arm and a leg for it, otherwise you got one that was only good for maybe toast and a few fries. I was able to get my hands on the size that I wanted for 50% off of the normal price which put it in the price range of those really small ones. I've tried a few things in it so far. Veggie fries of course, which was a no brainer, but I also tried a pork tenderloin that came out perfect. Today I tried doing some steak tips in it, and they came out really good, but since I'm figuring this all out, I ended up with them being well done. That's not a big deal and as I said, they came out really good, but I like my steak medium or medium rare. I set it at 350 for 20 minutes, so next time I'll try cutting the time in half and see if I can end up with them more medium. That all being said, this thing is great and makes cooking even more simple then it already is. If you have one and have any particular things that you think I might enjoy trying out, please let me know.  I have yet to venture into cooking vegetables in it yet, cause I'm really worried about over doing them, but I will eventually give it a try. This particular one has a dehydrator setting on it as well, so I will be drying out some peppers soon. I'm pretty excited about my future eating with this.

     That's all I have this week peace in and goodnight.

A Flower By Any Other Name Would Be Called The Dee Gees

      Not a whole lot happened this week. I'm trying to avoid a subject that is very popular right now, or at least trending, so let's see how that goes. I'll let you know if I bring it up.

     The lake trail was devoid of people most of the week, so I was out there alone a lot. I did finish The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. I have to admit, I did become pretty enthralled by the end of it, but I stand by my original assessment of it being absolutely forgettable. Reason being, I really can't tell you much about it beside the characters being horrible people with the exception of the one lone character that was basically thrown in to make a particular pathetic character even more pathetic, while still being a horrible person. It wasn't to create sympathy for them, it was designed to make them seem even worse for what they did. The idea behind the book was to amplify individuality, which it did, but to make every one of those characters devoid of morals was complete unnecessary, or maybe those are the only people she knew. I can't figure that out at this point, and I have no desire to listen to it again to try and figure it out. 

     I haven't decided what my next book will be, but it will be back to the normal fantasy/fiction that I normally enjoy. I do have a book by David Foster Wallace lined up, because I saw a biopic about him and want to see what his writing was like. I know nothing about it, but I believe it is fiction, and is slightly humor based. I'll let you know when I get to that. I have I think, 4 or 5 books in my library that I haven't listened to yet, so I think I will throw that one in the middle of them all.

     No garden update. I haven't ben able to get out to the nursery to pick up more plants yet, so it's still exactly the same, with the exception of a few weeds that popped up and I pulled this morning. I did get a good picture of one of the blooms from the Desert Rose, so here you go.

    It's quite the fetching flower. I can't wait to finally figure out what I'm going to do with it. Still need to find that right pot for it, so I can display it properly.

     I have some fun music news for you which is really my favorite thing of the week. The band Garbage has a brand new album out, and I was going to choose one of their songs for Favorite Song of the Week, but something else happened that bumped that idea from my head. More on that in just a bit. The new Garbage album is No Gods No Masters. It's a bit of a protest album and I'm here for all of it. Shirley Manson is my spirit guide, and I would follow her anywhere. I believe that this album is just as good if not better than anything they've put out. That is a tall order considering how great their self titled debut album was. They kept their signature sound and added a little more angst to it, with a bit of anger at the system. It's a double album with the first album being that protest album, and the second being a good old fashioned album of covers. They do a version of David Bowie's Starman that I highly recommend listening to. If you have a streaming service you like, try this album out, I'm pretty sure you will add it to your playlist.

    Ok, yesterday I read some really fun news, and I'm pretty excited about it. On July 17th, it's the annual celebration of Record Store Day. To commemorate that day, a ton of artists release new stuff, mainly on vinyl that you can only buy on that day at record stores, and this year might be the best year of them all. The Foo Fighters are losing their name and becoming The Dee Gees and releasing a 5 song EP covering The Bee Gees. The album is called Hail Satin, and I need it in my life. If you are thinking, oh, that sounds ok, but who wants to hear the Foo Fighters do their version of Bee Gees songs. You would be pretty far from what it actually is. They are doing these songs as a Bee Gees Tribute band. You know, covering the songs as close to original as possible, and that means getting those falsetto harmonies in there as well. I've heard one song, but I'm not going to share it, because I can't truly confirm that it really is The Dee Gees doing it. I saw someone post that Barry Gibb actually shared the video, but I didn't verify that, so you will just have to wait until Record Store Day to hear anything, unless the have a surprise release of a track or two. I can tell you from what I heard, it really does sound like Dave Grohl singing in a Barry Gibb esque falsetto, and they do a really good job of getting everything right. Oh, and if you didn't figure out the name yet, it's a play on Dave Grohl's initials D G. 

     Ok, I take it back. I just found this very short teaser video from Record Store Day Canada, that is a promo for the album with the song over it that I heard, so you will get a short sample after all.

     Ok, I feel like I successfully avoided that subject I was talking about above, and kept this lighthearted instead of putting a little controversy into your lives, so I'm going to end this now before I give into temptation. Peace in and goodnight.

A Much Better Week

      This week, everything has been back to normal. I've been pain free and it seems all has passed. I'm going to remain diligent though and keep my eyes and ears open for anything that might come up. I was also able to walk this week, and it wasn't the same dread that it had been, Maybe that was my mind telling me something was on the way. The lake trail was lonely as usual, with I think only two days I was out there, there were other people on the trail. I did walk every day as well, even though I hit goal of 50 km on Saturday. I just felt like I really needed to be out there, and today there was absolutely no one on the trail with me. I did only do one lap as opposed to my normal 2, and I was ok with that. I didn't have that same anxiety, like I should be doing more. It was refreshing unlike the weeks leading up to the kidney stones. Maybe that brief dance with pain gave me a different perspective on things.

     I got all but one of the plants in the ground, but I am not finished at all with the garden. The one I left out was the Desert Rose. A friend of mine told me that it likes shallow pots, this also adds up with what I read about it. You should treat it similar to a cactus. I could technically plant it in the ground, and it could thrive, if I keep it somewhat dry (that would not be in the garden), but I can keep the size down if I find the right pot for it, and maybe make it a highlight in the garden. I'm considering making a stand for the pot that I get, and raising it above the garden. I have to find the right pot first. This is what the garden looks like currently.

     It looks like a disaster, but it is truly a work in progress. That big open area is right for another one or two plants, and I have to figure out the right ones to go there. The nursery pots that are in there are the pots the plants came in, and until I make markers (or maybe not) I'm leaving those there so I know the names of each plant. I did take pictures of each pot with the plant it belongs to so I have a record of it, regardless of what I do. I'm planning on putting down mulch, but I'm not going to do that until everything is in the ground where it needs to be. This is a lesson I learned form the last time. It's a giant pain to scrape mulch away and then dig up a hole to plant, then try to get all the mulch back around the base. So the garden will look like trash until the time is right. I'll get those final shots when it's all done. Oh, that planter right in the front with the lush looking plant, is actually one of my peppers in a can. That is the caramel reaper. I finally transplanted it a few weeks ago, and it's looking really good. I just transplanted the berry cream that I also had in a can yesterday. Those were the only two cans that made it this far. I never got a pepper from either one of them, because they were just too small to produce anything. The great thing about using that can method, is that the root ball was amazing. Once the roots have a chance to spread out, the berry cream will grow like that caramel reaper. That caramel reaper tripled in size in the span of a week. I'm hoping the berry cream does the same.

     Speaking of reapers. I got the first reaper of the season from my plant this week. I'm planning on putting it on burgers tomorrow, which will probably not go very well, because my tolerance is way down. I'm planning on making two patties, but only putting the reaper on one. If I had it spread out on two, I may not be able to finish both burgers. No matter what anyone tells you, reapers are a whole other level of hot. There's hot, like ghosts and morugas and things like that, then there is a big gap and then there is the reaper. There are hotter peppers out there ( I haven't had them yet ), so that might be a whole other level above reapers. I'll get there eventually.

     If you remember, a few weeks ago I told you about how one of the YouTubers I follow had their channel hacked. Well, he has it back and has created this weeks Favorite Song of the Week. This is a bit of a rare video for him. He generally does videos targeting bad guitar players, and then giving them what he calls Shreddemption. Basically he puts their bad playing into a song and he plays over it with some epic skills. This week he did a cover with a singer and it is absolutely amazing. This video really highlights the skills that he has, that are truly above most mortals. I just want to mention that he does the entire backing track as well. Usually it's through a music program that he can program drums, synth, bass, and what not, then he plays his own guitar parts. Rhythm, lead, doubling, and all that good stuff. With all that in your head, I give you Stevie T, with the help of Anthony Vincent doing a cover of the new Billie Eilish song, "Your Power".

     I had to watch that video a second time immediately after watching it the first time. I would say that Stevie out did himself this time, but that would just not be true. The guy is rich with talent and skill when it comes to the guitar, and music in general. His talent also expands into his video skills as well. Up until recently, he did all the shooting and editing of his videos. He has someone to edit them now, which frees him up to play more guitar and do videos like that one above. I highly recommend checking his channel out. Most of his videos are musically themed with a good helping of comedy thrown in. I also recommend you look up the original song by Billie Eilish and you can decide which one you like better. Billie's is more simplistic with an acoustic guitar and her usually whispery vocals. To me, both are fantastic, and depending on my mood, I could like one above the other and then change my mind the next day. That's the beauty of music, there is something for everyone and it can always give you some kind of feeling. Peace in and goodnight.

The Week From Hell

      Yep, the title says it all. I have two things I want to talk about. First really isn't about the title but something I feel may be long overdue, and the second is definitely where the title is derived from.

     Ok, let's kick this off. As you know I quit drinking some time ago. It's just around 4 and a half years now. I don't think I ever went into detail on why I quit and everything that went along with quitting. I know I've mentioned some things, but not all of them. I was very good at drinking, too good in fact. I wasn't the angry drunk, I was more of the fun drunk. Despite the over drinking and never being able to have just one, I never got black out drunk. I was always very aware of what was going on and what I was doing. I can also assure you that the old adage that alcohol brings out the true person, is a lie. Alcohol allowed me to wear a mask and be someone I really wasn't. Drunk me was very much a mask. If I did something a little crazy or offbeat, I knew what I was doing, I also knew I could blame it on drinking. The lifting of inhibitions was more of an allowance to blame it on something else. That was one of the reasons I quit, I got tired of playing that part. It was very exhausting.

     Another main reason was that more than often I would finish each night throwing up to get rid of excess alcohol before it was assimilated into my system. This is also why I never got black out drunk. After throwing up, I would more than likely end up going to sleep on the bathroom floor, not because I passed out there, but because the cool tile felt good on my skin. I would always get hot when I drank, not sure if that was some kind of side affect or just something that happened with me. I do have a higher core temperature than most people. My skin is often hot to the touch. I hate throwing up (more on that very subject later). Despite that I would make myself vomit to get it out before it could fully take hold. I actually got to the point that I was throwing up blood near the end. Once again, very exhausting. 

    The last reason was that I began seeing drinking as getting me nowhere, and I was just repeating each weekend over and over again. Not to mention the money it was costing me each week. I was easily looking at a $75 tab each night of the weekend I went out. That was usually the lowest amount. Add it up and it comes to a lot of money to literally throw up down the drain.

    When I finally made up my mind, there was no turning back for me. I was actually really proud of myself that day. Of course I still couldn't have just one, but I did go in and said to myself that I would only have two and those would be the last two I would have, and I stuck to it. I do know the date and I'm sure there is something mystical about the number when I look at it now 1/7/17. I didn't even think about it at the time, I just chose that day because it was a Saturday after one of the most inebriated New Years I've ever had. That New Years opened up my mind a little more than I expected it to. There were some growing pains when I quit. I had to change my objective for each week, which had become make it to Friday so you can go to the bar. It became what am I going to do on the weekend to stay out of the bar, and what lie am I going to tell people when they ask me to the bar? I should have just started out with "I quit drinking, sorry I just can't go to a bar right now", but I always came up with some other excuse. Hindsight teaches me now, that was the wrong approach, because I believe I alienated a lot of friends. This was part of how I ended up incredibly lonely and spiteful. I thought people abandoned me because I wasn't drinking anymore. There were some that did for sure, but most of them just got tired of asking me and me making up excuses for why I wouldn't go out. If I had it to do over again, I would have just said I quit drinking for my health and leave it at that. 

     It took me several months before I would step into a bar again, and I mean basically a bar that was a restaurant. I don't think I've stepped in an actual bar since I quit. I'd have to think a lot harder than I'm willing to do right now to figure that out. In the end, this was the right thing for me, because as good as I was at drinking, in all reality I was terrible at it, for the simple fact that I didn't have enough control over it to go out and have just one.

     Going cold turkey worked for me, but I don't suggest doing that, if you want to quit, get help. Being lonely is not the way to go. Like I said, I would have done things differently if I had to do it over again. If you need someone to talk to, you can reach out to me. I can tell you more about my experience and give you support, but I will always suggest getting professional help.

      Now it's time for the horror story. I woke up at around 2 AM Monday morning with s dull but very persistent pain in my left lower back. This started peaking my anxiety, because my mind immediately when to worse case scenario. My first thought was that my kidney was failing. I began looking things up that it could be. I started marking off symptoms. The only one I had was that dull persistent pain. Blood in the urine, nope, nausea (not yet) nope, headaches (also not yet) nope, fever, not at all. It was all very confusing to me. I reached out to a friend of mine that is a nurse and they told me everything it could be and based on my symptoms it was most likely kidney stones, but to keep listening to my body for any other signs and reach out if something changed. Very little changed during the day. The pain did eventually migrate to my abdomen, which was a good sign. Pointing more and more to kidney stones. It later began migrating to my groin. From there it would go back and forth from lower abdomen to groin, That's when the nausea bagan. I was going to just drink water and fast that day, but my friend suggested eating so as not to stress the body more than necessary. Turns out that really wasn't much of an option. I couldn't hold anything down. I threw up once the first day (which is what prompted talking about my drinking as per earlier), then the second day I was nauseous the whole day throwing up twice. The second time I had to drink extra water just so I had something in my stomach to come up.

     Let me tell you, contrary to popular opinion, passing kidney stones sucks. It is absolutely the worst pain I've ever felt in my entire life (not sure I'm complete over it at this point in time) The kidney pain was bearable, but when it hit the groin, there was no getting around that pain, it was there and it is what caused the nausea. All that being said, I do consider myself lucky. The majority of the pain was gone after Tuesday, with only phantom pains, and the occasional half hour of really uncomfortable pain. The last of which I experienced last night. Today has been pain free, but I'm still not complete sure that I've passed all the stones. There is also the fact that I never caught any stones in a strainer and so I gave up any hope of that. More than likely the stone or stones broke down into much smaller pieces that could fit through the strainer. There is also the fact that I have a strange feeling in my, well we will go with urethra. I think a piece of the stone itself is lodged right now. It's not uncomfortable, it's just very much there, and slowly working it's way through. Where it was on Thursday is not where I feel it right now. I do think I know what caused it, or at the very least have it narrowed down to two things. Both of which I have changed my habits about and we will see if that changes things for the better. There really is no real way of knowing for me what it was, and how long ago it began, but I'm going to keep these adjustments in place and see if it happens again, that is all I can do at this point. Let this be a lesson to you. Listen to your body, when you talk to someone about what is going on, tell them everything. They can't help you if you aren't fully honest with them. No detail is too small in order to get the right diagnoses.

     Now that all the heavy stuff is over with. I do have one picture for you before I go. I've let the garden go to pot, so I'm going to be spending this week getting it back in shape. I went to the nursery to get some soil and new flowers for the garden, and it was also the first time I went anywhere without a mask. Don't worry, the nursery is all out doors, and the have personal distancing in the little checkout are, which is an open air hut. I felt comfortable there without a mask since I was outdoors, and I still kept my distance from people. If I saw I was going to cross someones path at a crossroads, I would hold back a little and let them pass before I would go. It was real simple to do. Anyway I got a few flowers to plant in the garden. I went with flowers intstead of vegetables, because I wanted plenty of eye popping color, and I think I did a decent job for a small budget.

     I don't have all the names at hand but the yellow are lantanas, the blue ones in the front are You Blue My Mind (got them mostly for the awesome name). The pink one at the top is the splurge. It really stood out to me, and when I saw what it was, I just had to get it for the garden. It should be a challenge to grow. It is a Desert Rose. Not sure if you know, but that is a rather fabled flower. Usually there is a lot of mysticism and magic surrounding the name. There was no information there about it, so I have to look up if it likes somewhat dry conditions (desert=s dry), so for that reason I think it will be a challenge to grow. I am going to look up all the information on it, so that I can give it the best chance I am able to. Once I get the garden back up to shape, I'll take pictures for you and have all the names.

     It's now time for Favorite Thing of the Week. No video or picture or anything this week, just a simple television viewing recommendation. New to Netflix this week is a show based on a DC Comic book called Sweet Tooth. I'm not going to give you all the details because I think it is a show you really need to experience without knowledge of it. The basics are, that it takes place during and after a pandemic that wipes out a very large portion of the population, but there is also something else. At the time time the virus is going on, babies that are being born are being born as human/animal hybrids, and that is all I will tell you about the show. The show is executive produced by Robert Downey Jr, and his wife Susan, so I"m hoping doesn't pull a one and done like they did with Jupiter's Legacy and cancel it. I'm sure the Downey's will push for a season 2. I did manage to finish the whole season in 2 days since Netflix's new thing is seasons that are no more than 10 episodes long, and more and more they are 6 and 8. Sweet Tooth is 8 episodes. I have a lot to say about that , but I'll save it for some other time. When you have some free time and watch something very unique and fun to watch, give it  a try. Peace in and goodnight.

I Have Not Been Kind To Myself

      My mental health took a nosedive this week. Even though, I still pushed myself to get out of bed and walk the lake trail. It felt like I was just going through the movements from memory though. I was so distant from myself. Depression and loneliness set in and took hold of me, and it was even compounded while out on the trail. The trail became a living metaphor for my sense of being. This week was the loneliest week on the trail. I only saw 3 people the entire week and it was always near the end of the walk. I've been feeling like I'm going through this life alone and that has always been the case and always will be. The feeling of loneliness intensified the depression and then brought on my anxiety. The anxiety is increasing because I want to go to a gym and the thought of going and being around people isn't not something that is soothing and comforting. That's the catch 22 in my loneliness. I want to see people, but only my people. With the exception of maybe a half hour a few weeks ago, I haven't seen any of my friends since I think December, and before that it was last September when I got together with a friend and their family for a cookout. 

     Despite all that, I still managed to hit goal on Saturday which left me today to sleep in. This, even though planned was something that brought me anxiety and depression. My thinking was that I should be out there putting in the kilometers. Hitting goal isn't really good enough, I should be improving. In my mind I know this isn't exactly necessary or healthy thinking, but also in my head I think I should be increasing my distance each week by 1 1/2 times my normal amount. See, not healthy thinking. This has also led me to not being very kind to myself. Constant mentally telling of myself to do better, you look terrible, you blew it. These are the thoughts going through my head, and this caused me to basically give up on myself this week. Friday and Saturday I caved in and just let it all go. I went and got chips, soda and fast food. I did have enough self control to only by the convenient store size bags of chips and single sodas, so that I wouldn't have giant family size bags in the house. I'm trying to be better today, and will continue on a one day at a time view of things for a while. I want to do another 8 weeks of clean eating, but with my mental state right now, I really don't believe I can do that, so one day at a time is how I'll take it. I did take a photo today to show you what 2 weeks on carbs and a reckless weekend can do.

     I have a lot of work to do, and I need to get my mind on the same page, but I'm not going to force it, because, based on experience with myself, that will only make things worse.

     Oh, back to the gym. I did check out a gym that is very close to my house, and it's awesome, but that whole anxiety thing is getting in the way. I can schedule to be there by skipping some days walking. The whole idea of the walking is to get some physical exercise outside of the house, so that may keep me from hitting goal with distance, but it might improve my mental state through building my body. I just have to push my anxiety to the side and get it done.

     Not to continue being a Gloomy Gus, there were some positive things that happened this week. For one, it didn't rain on my out on the trail. That's a good thing. I did however rain before I went one day which brought the critters out. I usually see rabbits, cardinals (the coolest of small birds), osprey and red shouldered hawks, but on this occasion I saw a baby soft shell turtle, a crazy black caterpillar, and this somewhat little dude.

     I probably should have cropped that so it's easier to see, but that is a small gator, probably around 5 feet or so. I know they are out there, cause I've seen and heard them before, but they are a rare sight to see. They stay to the reeds and waterline plants in the morning. The coolest thing about gators is that they leave no wake. Just look at the photo, the water is completely still around it, and I can tell you that it was moving in a forward motion, not just sitting there. They are remarkable creatures.

     For the first time in over a year, I took my mom to a movie. We masked up and I took the wheelchair so that she wouldn't have to walk and hit the theater.

     We went to see the new Cruella movie. It was really good, but it didn't go as well as I hoped it would. Half way through my mom got antsy and began talking and asking to go home. I managed to talk her down and she made it through the movie, but I'm going to have to choose movies with more color and less loudness from now on. I thought that would be a good choice since it's Disney, but the was rather dark, and there were lots of crashes. Fun for anyone who doesn't have dementia. I will say this, the soundtrack was outstanding. It was set in the 60's and 70's so lots of that era rock. For me the one iconic moment in the film was when Cruella ( Emma Watson) crashed a party for the Baroness (Emma Thomson, who I believe truly stole the film) came out in a punk rock outfit with her make up done as a mask that was like graffiti art of black spray paint with the words. "The Future" in the negative space. Just found a picture so you can see.

     I honestly expect to see more of that make up look in fashion for the next year, or at least I hope to. It's simple but profound and makes a statement.

     There is one other character that truly stands out in the movie. Now, Morty and the Schnug are the two greatest dogs to ever live (don't argue with me on this) but, there is another that has won my heart, and that is Wink the little chihuahua in the movie that wears a leather eye patch. If you are on the fence about seeing this movie, go for Wink. I'm telling you, that little dog will make it all worth it. I know the film is getting trashed because it doesn't really lead to the canon of 101 Dalmatians, but I enjoyed it.

     I don't have a favorite song or anything this week (yeah, kind of ties in with the whole beating myself up over and over again). I can say that it does feel like the new TØP album is saving my life right now, something they did before with Vessel. I had the chance to get a message of thanks to them (remember I met Josh Dun's mom) but again, by anxiety wouldn't let me ask her to pass the message on. I owe them a great deal of thanks, maybe one day I'll get the chance to pass that gratitude on.

    Although I don't foresee this week being any different than last week, I do hope that yours is much better than mine. Oh, I almost forgot to mention this. There is a reason why I was trying to force myself to remember this and I'll get to that. The book I've been listening to on my walks is by famed writer Ayn Rand. I've never read Mrs. Rand before. I've heard mixed reviews, but I finally added a book on Audible to give it a chance thanks to Steven Chbosky mentioning her and this book in The Perks of Being a Wallflower. The book is entitled The Fountainhead. No it's not that best known Atlas Shrugged, so I can't speak on that one, but I can speak on this one. It is dreadfully forgettable, which is why it has been so hard to remember to tell you about this experience. I'm only a third of the way through it since it's 37 hours long. With the exception of one character so far ( and I expect that to change to no character in the future of this book) everyone is morally bankrupt. They are truly awful characters with no redeeming qualities. I'm truly expecting the one innocent character to turn the leaf soon and show what makes them awful as well. The writing is pretentious to the highest order. Ayn is truly one of those people that believe they are better than everyone else and will prove it to you by using the word superfluous as many times as humanly possible. I know what you are thinking, how can you come to that conclusion from her book? Well, she wrote the forward which was over a half hour long and used the work superfluous 2 times in that alone. She also makes the note of how the book is about those people that create progress in the world with exceptionalism. It's all about the capital growth and not really human growth. I am going to finish this book, so as to remind me to never ever become a person that would be in that book. Peace in and goodnight.

I Failed Myself

      I feel like I've completely failed myself this week. I didn't reach goal this week and it's simply because I couldn't get out of bed. Friday I said it was much needed rest, Saturday I was trying to continue that justification, but it was pure laziness. This morning I overslept but still made it out to the lake for one lap. I was feeling pretty ragged, so 1 lap was all I could muster in the time I had. I also weighed in on Friday (only doing it once a week now) and was up to 165.2 lbs. I of course knew that is what would happen coming off of two weeks of eating moderate carbs. I also know that it's mostly water weight and fiber that's built up in my system, but being who I am, I see that number and it's a disappointment. I'm going to try my best to chalk this week up to just a small step backwards that will lead to many steps forward, but once again, I am who I am, and that's going to be the most difficult thing in the world for me to do right now.

 

     I did at least get this view one morning while walking, and I should have read the warning that it was, but I took a chance. The old saying is red sky at night fisherman's delight, red sky in the morning fisherman's warning. That saying is as true as true can be. What it means is that if you see a red sky in the morning you are in for a stormy or at the very least a rainy day. The later was the case. I was 1 mile in to my second lap which puts me at the furthest point away from anything when the rain began, and it didn't let up until I was walking out the gate to leave the trail. I didn't mind getting soaked so much, but since I didn't wear a hat, I was getting raindrops in my eyes, which sucked. This just adds to my failure of a week.

     Ok, the week wasn't all bad, they seldom ever are. Twenty One Pilots released their new album and did a live stream concert that since it's the pandemic wasn't exactly a concert. It was unique and really fun. The performed mostly songs from the new album, but they did it in a giant arena with stage sets all over the place. They moved from set to set telling the story behind their last few albums. For those that don't know, starting with Blurryface, they started a back story for their music, about a cabal that is trying to take away their creativity and capture them for their own gain, and to assimilate them into the world of Dema. Where this album takes place is right after Tyler (the singer) is captured by the Bishops and is being forced to write musical propaganda for Dema. It's a real fun concept and you can get little messages in each song about what is happening and what is coming. If you get the chance go listen to Blurryface, then Trench, and now Scaled and Icy. It tells a story within a story.

     We will get back to TØP in a second but first one more picture. I'm doing my best to end this week of with a good note, so I dyed the beard again, and I think I've improved my hair dying skills. I went back to purple again, but by not waiting for all the red to fade out, it's creating a pretty cool effect. Once again I'm digging.

     Now that's purple. One of theses days soon, I'll be able to show off the color to everyone, but for the time being, even though I'm fully vaccinated, I'll be wearing a mask when I go out.

     Back to TØP, Of course I'm choosing one of the new songs from the album for Favorite Song of the Week. You had to see that coming. The song I chose is the last song on the album. I have my own interpretation of the song, but I'll save that for me, and let you come up with your own. It's easier if you've listened to the other albums, but you can get meaning from it without all the other music. I chose this song also because it's my favorite song on the album. It sounds like nothing they've ever done before, but it is still very much them. I know that probably doesn't make sense, but if you know them, you know. I present to you Twenty One Pilots with the last song on Scaled and Icy, "Redecorate". 

     I've pretty much been listening to the new album non stop since Friday, and I don't plan on stopping any time soon. I started out liking it before even hearing it, because it's TØP, but with each listen I like it more and more. I also pick up new things every time I hear it. It's a sonic rollercoaster with little hidden sounds that are in the background. Listen with headphones if you want the full effect.

     I'm going to make this week better than last, that's all I can hope for. I'm going to put my anxiety to the side and move forward. Peace in and goodnight.

That's How I Start My Day

      That was from my morning walk on Saturday. I really enjoy getting to see sights like this on my morning walks. I did real goal that day, but I had a separate goal that I wanted to hit, so I couldn't sleep in this morning and I had to hit the trail. The second goal, like the first was because of Pokemon GO. From time to time you get research tasks that you have to do. There are daily tasks when you spin a Pokestop (I won't get into the minutia of Pokestops), then there are timed, which take place during a certain period of time, and lastly there are special tasks. This is a special one and one of the tasks to complete the research is to walk 151 km. My overall goal is to finish this task in 3 weeks, but by hitting a certain number today I will finish it slightly before 3 weeks. That goal that I had to hit was the 100 km mark. I blew past that today taking it up to 105 km. That put me at 65 km for the week, which didn't allow me any rest, but it did get me ahead of the game.

     Got these this morning. Ok, what that is, is an Azhinga or jesus bird sitting on top of a fake goose. Why they have that fake goose in the lake, I don't know. It seems to mark a drain pipes end, but I really don't know what the pipe is draining.

     I played around a bit and did a fade on the ol' beard. It goes from purple to red, and I think I did a decent job for my first time taking a shot at it.

     One more picture. This was my meal on Friday. Oh, I did stick with the moderate carbs for one more week. My original plan was to go high carb for 2 weeks to get the benefits of loading up my muscles with glucose and also developing some insulin resistance. That way when I go back to keto, starting tomorrow, I can take advantage of that resistance. It will be kind of like a super charger for my body. Basically when you do keto for a long time you build up insulin sensitivity, which is why your progress slows, by carb cycling you get some of that resistance back again and start, not over but, you begin again from a higher point in the game. It's like taking one step back to move 3 steps forward. Anyway, this meal although low in carbs, was just a work of art, so I had to share.

     That's roast with baked broccoli and cauliflower lightly parmesan crusted. It was just as good as it looked too.

     Before I get to Favorite Song of the Week, I wanted to mention my Favorite Thing of the Week, and that is the new series on Netflix called Halston. It is about famed designer Roy Halston and it stars Ewen McGregor. I'm about half way through it right now and it is really good and Ewen is fantastic in the lead role. It tells the story of his life and part of that is his time at Studio 54. Studio 54 is one place that I truly wish I could have visited in its prime. It seemed like such a magical place, despite the disturbing underbelly of drugs and prostitution that were involved there. Back to the show. One other stand out character is Krysta Rodriguez she plays Halston's best friend Liza Minnelli. If you took my recommendation and watched the zombie show Daybreak, which Netflix didn't renew and I'm still sore over that, you saw her play the role of teacher Mrs, Crumble. Her transformation from that character to Liza is amazing. One last person involved in the show is Bill Pullman, and lets face it, he is good in anything, so give Halston a try, it really is fantastic.

     Ok, now for FSOTW. This one goes with the photo above. I was listening to this song when I turned the corner and was looking directly at that sunrise and the moment was just so perfect, so when you listen to this song, please take a look at that photo at the top. It just fits. This is from Myles Kennedy's new album The Ides of March. Myles Kennedy is the lead singer of the band Alter Bridge so this is a side project for him, although he records his own albums all the time. Anyway this is Myles Kennedy with "Love Rain Down".

     See what I mean now. I'm hoping to have some pretty big news for you soon. I'm still waiting on a few things, and it could take several weeks, but hopefully some fun will be had soon. Peace in and goodnight.