The Bad Gets Worse

     Another weekend equals another disaster. Friday morning I woke up feeling great. Baby Girl got a clean bill of health and a prescription for two weeks worth of antibiotics, so things were looking up. All that changed when I was cooking breakfast. This was a big day for eating, since it was eggs and bacon day. I only have that once a week, so it's kind of a big deal to me. I put a good amount of spices into the eggs and throw in some habaneros for myself. While I was finishing up the bacon, I heard a commotion out in the living room. I ran out to see what was going on, and found my mom on the floor. She had taken another fall. She was trying to sit up, but I got her to slowly roll over on her back, and take it one step at a time. I felt around asking I've anything hurt, and she first said it was her foot, so I checked, no pain their, then it was her wrist, no pain there, then it was her hip, a little pain there. My fear was that her hip rebroke, which is a really big deal. I got her up in the wheelchair that we have, and rolled her out to the TV room. She said she was feeling fine, and I wanted to give her some time. I finished up breakfast, and then reevaluated things after she had eaten. As long as she was sitting, she was fine, but I asked her to stand up, and she couldn't do it on her own. I helped her up and she could stand, but as soon as she tried to bear weight on her right leg, she was in pain. The ER was our next visit. I got her in the car and drove there as quickly as I could, which was complicated by the main road in town was closed for a crafts fair, so I had to detour way out of the way to get to the hospital. They admitted her pretty quickly, which is a shock, any time I've had to go the place was crowded. The ER doctor came in and checked her out, and it she was feeling pain in her left and right side, with more on the right. That is the hips that she had surgery on. X-rays came out negative, and they gave her the all clear. The said the pain is due to some bruising and that she was fine.

     Once we got home, there was a big change in her demeanor. She immediately thought she was in a rehab facility and that she was being left alone. I tried to quell those thoughts, but she is in deep this time around. She had given up trying to stand up on her own, and only wanted to go to bed. I held that off as long as I could so she could get her daily phone call. After that, it was straight to bed. It took a lot of work to gently get her in and settled, but it was only temporary. The whole rest of the day and night was her yelling and talking to herself. I would go in, and she would say that she was talking to the other people in the room. I barely got any sleep last night, and the same for her. Today she was very lethargic, and defeated. She is still feeling a large amount of pain, but I'm not sure if it's really as bad as she thinks and she is just imagining a lot of it out of fear. I got her in the shower today, so I could get a look at the area, and I saw no bruising. She also can't seem to tell me where it is that she is hurting. She can't even point to the general area, so I just continue to be as gentle as I can. Moving her from the bed to the chair is the most difficult part. I have to reassure her that she is going to feel some pain, but it is only temporary, and once she is settled, she will be fine. It takes some coaxing, but it always works out the same each time. The longer it is between moving her, the more pain she feels. Which seems right if it is stiffening up. I don't know how things are going to work out. She can stand with support, but as soon as she tries to move, she feels a lot of pain. I'm making an appointment with her personal doctor tomorrow for some time this week and see what he says.

     This has put me in a massive bind. I still have to get Baby Girl's prescription filled. Fortunately there are enough pills for a couple more days. I also have to go to the bank, and then there are the normal things like grocery shopping. When she would walk, I could take her with me, and guide her around in her walker. It wasn't easy to do, guiding her and pushing a cart at the same time, but it worked out. I have no idea what I'm going to do now. I can't take her grocery shopping if she can't walk. I don't know how that will work with a wheel chair and a shopping cart. I don't want to leave her by herself, but I may have to for an hour, so I can get groceries. I can spend the time to get her in the car for everything else. That way she can get out and about, without having to actually get out of the car, but when I have to spend some time in some place, I can't just leave her in the car. That would be torture.

     She is in bed for the night, and hopefully will get plenty of sleep tonight, since she didn't get much at all last night. I'll do what I did last night and keep my door open so that I can hear her if she wakes up.

     This brings me to something that I didn't plan on, or want to talk about, but I have a legitimate health concern of my own. For the past two or three weeks, I've been feeling a tingling in my left arm. I looked it up, and of course the first thing is a heart attack, but there are also other reasons for it to tingle. Pinched nerve, neck problems, sleeping on it wrong, but it always leads back to the worst case scenario. Here is my big problem, I can't go to a doctor, since I don't have any health insurance, nor could I figure out how it would work taking my mom. The other thing is, as far as the symptoms of a heart attack are concerned, that is the only one I've had. I have no head aches, chest pains, upper back pains, palpitations, or anything. That leads me to believe that the tingling is coming from that pain that is in my shoulder. It could have damaged some nerves, with how long and intense that pain has been. I've been spending the past several days resting my shoulder and not even raising my left arm over my head. This has resulted in less tingles during the day, which is a good sign.

     I know this is going to sound strange after dropping a bomb like the one above, but I'm now going to transition into talking about health and fitness. This all goes back to the 30 day plan of bettering myself in both mind and body. Part of what I've been doing, is a slightly different way of eating. Instead of going more hardcore on the keto, I'm doing a slightly different version of it. I'm still in the realm, but I've dropped my protein a bit, and cut my fats in half. I'm doing all this while keeping my carbs to a minimum. This is all in an effort to decrease body fat, while building muscle. How can i do that when I drop the protein? Well, I'm actually trying to discover the right amount of protein for me. Different people have different protein needs. I won't deny that the conventional way of building muscle is by increasing your protein consumption to about 2 grams per pound. I'm taking a more scientific approach and taking into account, that since I'm fat adapted, and not insulin resistant. My cells really take in more protein than they would otherwise, since they are more upon and ready without insulin blocking the proteins from getting into the cellular wall. So far, this has been working great. I'm seeing some pretty significant changes in my body, mirror wise, while not losing or gaining any weight. I'm listening very closely to my body, and what it's telling me. Yes, that includes the tingling, and my body is telling me good things. My energy level are up, excluding today and my lack of sleep. Even with the less sleep, I'm feeling really good, but I'm sure I'm going to go to bed early tonight. Tomorrow is also my alarm off day. I"m sure I will still rise at around 4-5 am, but that will be when I wake up, and not when an alarm tells me to.

     Yes, my progress has been slowed, by me taking a big break with my shoulder, so I have done very little upper body work outside of abs. Despite all that my body is looking better to me, and that is really all that matters. I have no desire to listen to anyone else's opinion of my body, even if it's positive. Someone telling me that I look just great, is fantastic, but I know I can look even better, and when they say that you look good enough, that just sounds defeating to me. I will not be defeated, and yes, I have a long way to go. This is not good enough for me.

     I'm not going to bother updating you on the garden, because it is all status quo at this point. I will tell you that two more strawberries are ripening, and I have hidden them inside the grow bag, and under leaves so Morty doesn't get a hold of them. I will eat those berries with my mom, and it will be a good day when I do.

     I've already said quite a bit in this one, and I'm sure I'm going to have people trying to tell me what to do. Know this, I know what I should do, but sometimes that isn't the thing you can do. Peace in and goodnight.