Chili Chocolate Anyone

     Well, as things get better, they often tend to get worse. That is the rollercoaster of dementia. the lows are extreme, and my mom lost a lot from this latest stay in a facility. That period of time where she knew who I was is gone. There are tiny glimmers of memory, but they are very small at this point. The sundowners has gotten much worse, and makes the evenings very difficult. She is often confused when I wake her up for dinner, and always thinks it's breakfast, which she then picks at for a while and says that she ate everything on the plate. Mind you, she may have only taken one bite of food at that point. That's when I have to say that there is more there and point it directly out to her, then she will get into it for a few more minutes, and once again say that she ate it all, or that she is a little person and can't eat very much. That's when I have to put the food on the silverware for a couple of bites, which is literally half of what I put on the plate, and convince her to eat it. That is the only way I get her to eat half her dinner at this point. Breakfast and lunch are much better, but still a constant reminder that there is food on the plate. This is a typical breakfast for my mom.

     That's peanut butter toast with walnuts, and berries. That is a small tea saucer that it is on, so you can see, it's not a very big breakfast. I'm hoping that her appetite gets better, but I know that not wanting to eat is part of dementia, so it will always be a struggle.

     I made more of my chili chocolate last night. I used the moruga powder that my buddy gave me, and it's freaking hot. I'm not sure if I lost some tolerance from dealing with this cold, but this chocolate is on fire. It actually gave me the hurps today from two small pieces. I put a little more monk fruit than last time, since I didn't have much left in the bag, so it all went in. It was probably about 3/4 of a cup instead of the 1/3 I put in lsat time. That only made the chocolate a little grainy, but it's still good, and as I said, freaking hot.

     I finally got my black velvet nasturtiums to bloom. They each have a bloom on them, with one being bold and actually having two. I thought the color was going to be a lot more rich on these, but I think the flower is rather pretty regardless of not having that deep dark center that bleeds into the red.

     It supposed to be almost black in the center around the yellow, and maybe other blooms will have that as it matures, but the red is vibrant and really does stand out amongst the minty green of the leaves. Nasturtiums are usually pretty prolific flowering plants, so I'm really hoping this beings to explode with buds.

     Oh, the physical therapist and occupational therapist came to see the moms today. They both said she did really well. She's very responsive, but tires easily, so they are going to focus on her endurance. We did discover that what she is calling pain in her left side, is a confusion of weakness. The PT finally got to the bottom of it today when she starting saying that she was in pain while walking. The therapist asked where it was hurting and she could only say her left butt, and then when the therapist went more into it, that's when she confirmed that it is her feeling of weakness on that side, which is really odd, because her right side was the whole reason she is in this situation.

     Oh well, I'm going to go watch Picard now. CBS all access is offering a month free, so you can have a chance to see it, so I signed up to watch it all and then cancel before the payment kicks in. It's still a good price, but there is nothing else really on there that I want to watch, maybe the Star Trek that they made. I'll give it a chance after I watch Picard if I have enough time. Have a good weekend and stay home. Remember, my offer still stands if you want to go out and galavant around. Message me, and I'll give you my address so that I can punch you in the face for being stupid and putting me and my moms life in jeopardy. Peace in and goodnight.