If I Had Hair, I'd Pull It Out

     This weekend has been frustrating. My moms has definitely changed with this latest stay in a facility, and it's not good. She is constantly talking with this sing songy whiny voice, that just isn't her at all. Today after dinner, which was the first time she managed to eat most of her dinner, she didn't have that whiny voice. I honestly can't take that voice. It almost brings me to anger, cause I feel like it is some weird hold over from the facility so that she could con them into leaving her alone, and get out of doing the things she needs to do. She has also taken to rising later, which isn't that big of a deal, and I'm hoping to use that to my advantage tomorrow. More on that in a  bit. It's the going to bed in the middle of the day, and then early at night that is causing frustration. The nap isn't a big deal, except that it keeps her up when she decides it's her time to go to bed, which is much earlier lately. She then calls out for me every hour on the hour until around 8 PM. Usually it's the woman in the bed next to her that needs help. Yeah, there is no woman in the bed next to her. She is having dreams about the facility and her dementia won't separate them at this point. The first two nights it was fear of Covid-19. That got the news turned off real quick, and I've gone to cable shows that are more informative or movies, to avoid that nightmare. This has gotten so much harder since her stay in that facility. She knows who I am now, which I always thought would be the case when she had distance from me. I knew it would spur the memory to a small sense of reality, but that is the only good that has come out of this. She doesn't want to eat, and it's a struggle each day to eat. Her weight is down 5 pounds from when she went in, and her doctor already wanted her to gain a little weight back. I'm going to have to learn some tricks, and stick with some calorie dense foods to help her put a little weight back on. I have to make sure they are nutrient dense foods as well, so that she has her energy. I may have to temporary go higher than usual for her on the carbs. I already had her on a more low carb diet than keto, because of her toast and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but I may have to add some rice and potatoes in there as well, on top of the keto friendly veggies that she already, kind of eats. Once again, her eating habits have turned to a spoiled 5 year old at this point, so it's ice cream before hot dogs kind of attitude. Oh yeah, trying to ply her with ice cream as a dessert does not work at all. She just begins crying when I tell her she has to finish half her meal in order to have the ice cream. I didn't have kids for a reason, and now I'm living the nightmare of having them, it's just that this kid is a fully grown adult woman in her 80's. I'll figure this out, it's just going to take a learning curve on my part. Like I said, tonight was so much better than the last few nights, so it could be the start of something.

     This is the slow cooked pork butt that I made for dinner. We only ate a quarter of it, so it will be good for meals throughout the week. She did enjoy it, and managed to eat about 3/4ths of what was on her plate. It was paired with sauerkraut, and roasted brussel sprouts, with some pieces of a Jemez Pueblo pepper. That pepper is really mild in heat, and has a wonderful fruit juice flavor to it. It was a great meal, topped with ice cream of course. Yeah no one has raided the keto ice cream at the grocery store yet, so I can still get a little sweet fix after dinner.

     Speaking of the grocery store, I have to go tomorrow, and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to do it. See, I don't want to touch anything, cause the nitwits around here, aren't practicing the whole social distancing and isolation thing. I do have a plan, but it isn't foolproof. I have nitrile gloves, for working on Saki, yeah it's still not able to start right now, and I have a spray bottle of denatured alcohol. I'm planning on bringing all that and a clean rag with me, to spray and wipe down the cart, and then wearing the gloves so that I don't touch anything. The real problem comes when I finish loading up my groceries, which could be contaminated or not, and the put the cart away. I have no idea what I'm going to do with the gloves. Maybe, I'll just walk back up to the garbage can near the entrance of the store to throw them away and walk back to the car. That sounds like as good a plan as any. I'm also planning on going first thing in the morning while the moms is still asleep, and the store is at its cleanest. They have been shutting down early each night to restock and deep clean the stores each night. Monday will be good also, because on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, they are limiting the opening to the elderly and most vulnerable for an hour to allow them to shop with as little fear as possible. Once again, I want to thank you misfits for "sticking it to the man" and "I'm not isolating myself, cause this is just a flu" for me having to take all these precautions, so that I don't catch and carry it to my mother, you half wit Neanderthals that refuse to take responsibility for anyone other than yourself. I would use stronger language, but I've made it a point to keep these posts as clean as possible, but know the it starts with f and ends with being the sexual appendage of an ape.

     I can confirm that I've lost more weight, without trying mind you. It's not something I wanted to happen, but this cold has done a number on me. I don't have official numbers right now, because I forgot to weigh in on Friday, and I won't have another weigh in until Monday. I did weigh myself today after eating lunch and I was in the 147 ranger, which means first thing in the morning was probably around 145. I did take measurements, not at normal times, and they are all the same. Waist is where it has been, and body fat percentage with the calipers is still in the 15% area. I say area, because they are fat calipers, and they only true way to measure that out is a DEXA scan. That is the only true way to get accurate measumrents in body mass, fat, and bone density. They also cost a lot of money, so calipers will have to do. I am noticing more definition in my torso, so even thought the calipers are reading the same, I don't think they are telling the truth. I have finally been able to do a few exercises and I don't feel weak in them, so I don't think muscle loss is where the weight has come from. It's either water weight, or body fat, either is acceptable to me.

     One garden picture for you tonight. This is an Acoma Pueblo. It's going to be a big one. right now it's around 5 and half inches long, and an inch and a half in diameter. It should ripen to red, and it's said to be sweet with very mild heat, and a thick skin. It should be a good roasting pepper. If it get's to full size, I may be able to stuff it, but I think it will more than likely be a massive popper instead of  stuffed pepper. The sad part is, that it is the only pepper on that plant. There is a new flower just a little above that, so I'm hoping for a second one, but It may just be real confortable where it is, so it is more in growth mode than fruiting mode.

     I did rip out two of the cherokee purple tomato plants today. They were dying off and not fruiting anyways. I'm clearing them out, so that I can put more Scotch Bonnets in that area. I have a whole other two areas for tomatoes now, and with what I've learned from the cherokee purple I'm using it on the new areas. More room, better support and a much more reliable feeding schedule. I already have a few baby tomatoes on two of them right now. I just gotta keep the tomato thieves away from them.

     Alright, I'm out of here. Remember to stay safe, and stay home. The second one will make the first one true. Peace in and goodnight.