Like Frida Kahlo, My Writing is a Self Portrait.

     As I have mentioned before, I love going to the Dali Museum in St. Petersburg, Florida. I'm a member there, so I can go in whenever I want to, well, within their operating hours. They send me emails from time to time, to let me know what exhibits are going to be there, and when they will begin. This week I got the news that the next exhibit, which starts in December, is going to be Frida Kahlo. She is widely known for her self portraits. When she was asked why she always painted herself, she replied, " I paint myself because I am so often alone and because I am the subject I know best.".  When I began my love affair with writing, I was often told, to write about what you know. That is why, that eventually, the 365 and then this was born. The subject I know best, is me. More on that in a bit. I am truly looking forward to seeing  the painting of Frida Kahlo. I love looking at the different strokes that painters use in their works. I'm sure I will learn from these paintings, as I have from Dali, Picasso, Van Gogh, and others. I haven't painted in some time, but it is something that I enjoy. Unlike Mrs Kahlo though, I will not be doing self portraits. I am probably my least favorite subject when it comes to drawing or painting.

     I guess this is where we are getting into the me part of all this. Like Mrs Kahlo, I do believe I know this subject of me, better than anyone, which is a small part of why I began writing the 365 and this. I then found that it was very cathartic. It helped me with a lot of problems that I was having in my life; depression, love life, lack of a love life, getting over things. That last one, is probably the biggest one of them all. I found that when I wrote about something that was lingering in my head, I was finally able to let it go. It's like when the words came from my fingers, I freed myself of that burden. Maybe that is what Mrs. Kahlo was doing with her self portraits. She died at an early age do to a history of bad health that began when she was hit by a car as a teenager. I can imagine, that when she wasn't feeling her best, she could sit down, and paint herself. Maybe it wasn't necessarily how she truly looked at the time, but maybe it was a way that she wanted to appear. Although, most of the paintings of hers that I've seen, she has a rather sallow look on her face. I could be wrong about all of this, but I want to believe it my way.

     I started a new book today. I don't quite remember the title of it, and it isn't close at hand, but it is about the Greek god Apollo. It's fiction, and it is a modern take on the old god. He has been cast to Earth without his godly powers, and must find a way to redeem himself and get them back. The funny part about it, is how arrogant he is. He always puts himself first, and mocks others when they would dare put themselves ahead of him. He is a god after all. I got to thinking as I was getting further and further in the book, that I am a lot like this representation of Apollo. Not the arrogance, but in another way. It mentions at one point about how he is the god of poetry. He holds himself far above everyone in his ability to write the poetic word, and that is where I saw a little of myself. Not that I hold myself above everyone with my writing, but more that I do think, that I am a very good writer. I know, that does sound like arrogance, especially when you see it written in front of you, but the plain truth is, that I do feel that way. Here is the reason why, and it is also going to sound very self serving. There have been times when I have gone back, and read what I have written, and I was amazed. I couldn't believe that I had written it. Because of this, I began believing in my writing even more, so much so, that I began writing a story about a young boy that when he wrote, his stories would come to life in the readers mind. Isn't that what a book is supposed to do? Of course it is, but this was a little different. The character believed that he could create entire worlds. Isn't that what a writer does? Yes it is, and maybe that is the point of all of this. My goal, when I write fiction, is to put you in a different world, and I believe that I can do it in a way, that you actually begin to feel part of that world, and that is what that character did. He would transport people, not just in mind, but also in body, to other worlds. As soon as they were done reading, they would simply come back to life.

     I put that story away for the time being, because it started feeding into my own ego. I do believe these things about myself, but I have to take a step back and remain a bit humble.

     Wow, how did this go from Frida Kahlo to my ego going unchecked? Before I sign off tonight, it would be a disservice to not share at least one picture of a Frida Kahlo painting. I do believe that this is her most recognized work, but I could be wrong.

     You can see that sallow look in her eyes. I'm very excited that I'm going to see her work in person, not to mention that I will get to spend some time with Dali as well. Peace in and goodnight.