Can I Do This

     I have to write this quick, because I have to shower and then get up to the hospital. That's right the hospital. More on that in a second, let's take things in order.

     As you know, Thursday started a new series of training at the new job, in the hopes that I will get the full time position. I still have a lot to learn, but I'm getting there. Friday was more of the same, but all of it was new information, which seemed to push all the old information out, so I was panicking this weekend as I was on my own but that's getting ahead of things.

     Friday night is the important part of this story, well, Friday evening. My mother fell and broke her hip. She didn't think it was that bad, but when she couldn't bare to walk an ambulance was called. I of course went to the ER, which is something I hate almost more than anything, and waited around to hear some news. They were going to do emergency surgery in the morning. That was all I knew. When my nephew showed up, I tagged him in, and I went home for the rest of the night, and worried about her, and the new job.

     I went in Saturday morning, because it would look bad calling out on my first official day, and there was nothing I could do other than wait around anyway. So work took my mind off it a bit. I got the call early in the morning that she was going into surgery. They wanted permission, but they were already in the surgical theater when I called back. About an hour later, I got the call from the surgeon. She had broken the ball joint of her hip completely off. They replaced it with an artificial one, so my mom is now the bionic woman.

     Saturday went on, I was able to forget about my mom, because I knew everything was ok, so I began the panic anew about the job. When you start each day doing what I'm doing, there is an amount of money on your list, that is the amount of money that is sitting around waiting to come back to the company. It's my job to get that number down each day. I did not do that. The number was drastically higher than when I started the day, and even though I had gotten through a lot of stuff, it still felt like failure. I was worried. I really began doubting whether or not I can do this job. It was running through my head all night, so much so, that I woke up at 2 in the morning and couldn't get back to sleep.

     In the meantime, I visited my mom in the hospital and she was doing great. She couldn't feel any pain while I was there, but they have a pretty good drip of pain killers going on to take care of that. She was in good spirits, but she was wondering if she would ever walk again. The doctor told me, that it was a few days in the hospital and then she was going to have to go to rehab to relearn how to walk. She wasn't the quickest and sturdiest as is, so I can imagine that this is going to be very difficult on her, but she's a tough old bird, and she can do it. My nephew and I will be there urging her on.

     That brings us to this morning. I know I'm going back and forth a little, but it was necessary for good writing. I was sick this morning, sick with worry. I was fully ready to get fired or quit because I didn't think I had what it took to get this job down. I still managed to walk through that front door, greeted by the manager, and walked back to my little office, and was greeted by the overnight guy. He looked at me, and told me how great of a job I did on Saturday. I was blown away. He told me that he was amazed that I got through as much stuff as I did and that he told the manager as much. That lifted a huge weight off my shoulder. I still had my moments of panic today, when things couldn't hit my memory, but I made it, and I feel ok. I may just be able to do this job.

     With all this going on, I wasn't able to work on pictures or the bookcase wand stand, but I will have Tuesday through Friday off, to get things done. I hope to have an almost completed bookcase wand stand for you by Thursday.

     I'm off to take shower and then head to the hospital, and then it's pick something up on the way home to eat, because I'm freaking exhausted. Peace in and goodnight.