Lessons Have Been Learned

     I'm having a hard time figuring out how to write tonights post. I have a bunch of things I can talk about, but should I talk about some of them in particular. I guess the first thing which ties in with the other thing that I could talk about is well, every once in a while I'm reminded of why I can't trust most people. You know, the people that say they are going to do something and then never follow through. The first thing though is more of a lesson learned about myself, and it's a lesson that I already know, but took the calculated risk, or uncalculated, I guess it's all in how you see it. In the middle of last week I reached out to my crush. I only asked if there was any light on her schedule opening up to have that dinner date. I have yet to hear back from her. This is that lesson about putting myself out there. I knew this was a bad idea, but since it was a new year, and a new decade, I foolishly thought that maybe, just maybe a different result would arise from it. Since I sent the message through the DM of a social media app, I know that she has seen it. I would have been ok with a, "Hey nothing is opening up yet." or, "We are always busy this time of year, but I'll let you know.". The good news is, that the attitude that I took going into this, is still intact. I expected to fail so failure won't effect me. Don't get me wrong, I'm bummed, but this time, it's only on the surface. I can rub it off with a workout or 50. I didn't say it wouldn't take time. Ok, maybe I did, but not like these things have effected me in the past. I'm going to be ok.

     The other thing is basically the reason why I don't ask people for anything. They generally fail when it comes to coming through. There are very few people in my life that will actually follow through on a promise, and it is usually something that they offer up without even being asked. I will accept help, I just usually don't ask for it, because of the let down, and that small number of people are simply incredible.

     I got a text yesterday from an old friend of my mother's. They were in town and wanted to know if they could stop by. There was no way I was going to say no. Usually Sunday is wide open and they asked to come and visit on that day, so I told them any time they wanted. As usual, plans didn't go as smoothly as I wanted. Someone took my mom out for lunch today, but I made sure that they had to shorten their time with her, so that she would be back for her visit. They made it back in plenty of time, so although the plans were altered, they worked out wonderfully.

     I wouldn't tell my mom who was coming to visit. I wanted it to be a surprise, but that may have been an error on my part. She would continuously guess who it was and several times asked if it was her mother and father. She has reverted so much at times, that she doesn't know that they passed away decades ago. It's heartbreaking. If I would have thought about it, I would have just not told her someone was coming to visit at all, and just kept everything behind the scenes so that it would all come together. Despite those difficulties, it was a fantastic visit, and the surprise worked out in the end. It lifted my mom up a great deal to see old friends of hers. I could also see the confusion on their faces when my mom would misremember or make up events. Oh and when she would talk about me as her brother or as if I wasn't there. It gets awkward, but they handled it with grace. They each thanked me for taking care of my mom and wanted me to keep them up to date on how things are going with her. I will of course do that. It's always good to see my mom smile like she used to.

     On to the update about me, myself, and I. I can't tell you how great I feel after that 96 hour full body reset. My energy levels are through the roof. I'm feeling beyond healthy, and there are no side affects of my fast. I will weigh in tomorrow to see the total results of the fast. That will let me know exactly how much weight I truly lost and where I go from here. No matter what the weigh in says, I'm over the 145 lbs goal. I'm on to my 15% body fat goal. I hit 145 for 3 days straight and that is good enough for me. I know that water weight will adjust my weight and I'm not worried about that. That is why I'm all about the body fat measurement now. The scale means nothing to me. I will still grab those numbers, but they aren't the penultimate of where I am now. I did check body fat again this morning and I'm still at 16.9%. That is solid. Also, just because I hit goal, that doesn't mean I can just go out and eat anything. I did go to my favorite pizza place on Pizza Friday and had a normal pizza, but that is it. Remember I would go for a normal pizza about once a month before I started the final push to goal. Having that cheat meal won't destroy you. It is just a meal, and as long as you see it that way, you will have no worries. I don't see it as doing anything bad. I don't see it as some triumphant victory, because I ate garbage food and lived to tell about, it is simply one meal out of 14-21 I will have during the week. Does that one meal have repercussions? Absolutely, but if I just eat the way I normally do, those will be overcome in no time. I'm not correcting (punishing) myself by fasting to fix it. I'm not doing extra workouts or cardio, I'm just living. The greatest thing that I learned through this whole process is, how to have a good relationship with food. Me and food get along now, and that means a much healthier me.

     Speaking of food, this was my dinner tonight. All cooked on the grill. It's been a while since the grill has been in play. Yes, those are grass fed/finished hot dogs. I reached out to my buddy and told him I was trying to figure out how to put habaneros in with the meal, and he mentioned cutting the dogs open and stuffing the habaneros in and then melting cheese on top. It was pure genius, and those hot dogs blended beautifully with the habaneros. It was so good. I do think I should have cut the brussel sprouts in half before putting them on the grill. They were good, but a little undercooked. I diced the grape tomatoes and sprinkled moruga salt on them as well as everything else. It was spicy heat goodness all around. I really love the way I eat now, why would I ever go back to eating processed garbage food? The asparagus was perfection. I brushed a little olive oil on near  the end and then salt and pepper. The moruga salt came after plating. If you ever want an outstanding meal, and you are anywhere near me, stop by, I'll make you a meal that will blow your mind.

     Ok, now on to garden news. First picture is of the first Cherokee Purple tomato that began growing. There are 14 total on the plants that I could find, and there are at least that many flowers or buds on the plants that should all turn into more tomatoes. We are going to have a lot of tomatoes soon.

     That's about the size of a baseball right now. I think it may be nearing the end of it's going cycle and will start ripened soon. I can't wait to have a purple and red tomato.

     The next picture is the seed tray. I got some sprouts after only a week, so the top has come off and I'm hoping more and more will sprout. The big germinators are the Scotch Bonnets from my own plant. These are the seeds from that cool shaped pod. So I'm really excited about them. The rest are from the seeds that I planted in the last tray that pretty much failed. I still have 3 seedlings that have survived to this point, but I'm not holding on to hope of them lasting. I'm going to baby this tray so that they are all successful.

     Here is the new thing I'm excited about, and it involves peppers. My buddy turned me onto a new Facebook group that is a growing contest. It's called Pepper in a can. You simply grow a pepper plant in a 12 oz. can. You can grow as many as you like, but at the end of the season you can only submit one for judging. I've decide to grow 4 plants. The Berry Cream BBG, which has black leaves, The Caramel Reaper, Orange Habanero, and Scotch Bonnet. I really like the flavor the Scotch Bonnets ok. The more plants I have the better. Anyway, you have to cut the top off the cans so you can grow, so that's what I've done over the last few days. This is the result.

































     The Berry Cream is going in the black can, the Dr. Pepper gets the Caramel Reaper, the Virgils Orange soda gets the Orange Habanero, and the Pepsi gets the Bonnet. I can't plant until Feb. 11th, so I have plenty of time. I have my seeds ready, I just need to mix some soil, but I'm going to wait until it gets closer to the sowing date. This is going to be fun. I'll be growing them mostly indoors, but I'll take them outside for natural sun during sunny days. These are going to be glamour plants that will produce fruit but more than likely on a smaller scale. Kind of like a bonsai, but not really. There is a practice called bonchi, that is miniaturizing chili plants. I may do that next winter with some of the yearlings for fun. It looks really neat and it's a way to keep your plants alive during harsh winters. Not really an issue here in Florida, but it will still be fun.

     Ok, I feel like I've gone on way to long tonight, so I better cut things off here. Peace in and goodnight.