We Need An End To Rape Culture.

     I know that I've talked about 13 Reasons Why plenty of times on here, but I've only covered one part of it, and that is suicide. The essence of 13 Reasons Why isn't just the suicide of one of the characters, it's why she committed suicide. The underlining story of it, is about the rape culture in this country. In the second season it follows a story line that is similar to the Stanford race case of just a couple of years ago. You know the one. Where the college student raped a drunk girl behind a dumpster and then only got 6 months for the crime. In that case, the judge said that a prison sentence would have a severe impact on him. In 13 Reasons Why the judge says that he saw no need to ruin two lives any further than they already had, and only gave the rapist 3 months probation.

     That is the view. Men or boys are given a bit of a pass on this, and it starts at an early age. I'm sure you have seen several things about rape culture and how things need to change, but more often than not, they don't have a solution to the problem or any ideas on how to change it. I'm going to give you some ideas on how to change it, and it starts at that early age.

     I came up with this idea after hearing two different people talk about this in a similar way, and I'm just putting the two things together. I don't remember their names and I wish I did so I could give them the proper credit. You will just have to settle with knowing that this isn't my idea, I'm just bringing two sources together.

     The first one was a woman who told a story about her little nephew who was around the age of 6 or so. He was moping around the house one day, and she asked him why. He said that he asked the girl that he liked to be his girlfriend, and she said now, so he was said. She then asked him what he was going to do about it. He gave the answer that all men are told to give when something like this arises. "I know, I'll keep trying.". The woman turned to him and said, "No, leave her alone and find another girl that will like you." The little boy had a look of astonishment on his face from this response. It wasn't expected, and why would it. At an early age, males are told to be persistent. Don't take no for an answer. Keep on trying and you will wear them down. Sound familiar? I know it does to me, because that is the way I was raised. That is the beginning of the culture. It is in all of the best intentions, but somewhere along the line it goes a little astray. We need to teach out boys differently if we want different results.

     We always teach girls what to watch out for, and how not to get into bad situations, but we don't always teach our boys the same lessons. We teach them to be aggressive, we teach them to be the strongest, and we teach them to take what they want. Those are all valuable lessons, but not when it comes to sex. Since we teach them that way, and boys and men confuse the message. We should be teaching them like that Aunt did for her little nephew. If a girl says no, then that is it. If she really doesn't mean know, and she wants the so called,"chase", then she will start it up on her own. It's as simple as that.

     The other lesson was from a man, who happened to have daughters, and he mentioned something very simple. It was the words that we use, when we talk about sex. It always starts out like this. Well, a man puts his penis into a woman's vagina. Look at that sentence. It's innocent right? It should be, and in simple terms it is, but look at the wording used. It gives the man power. I'm going to write it a different way, but saying the same thing, and watch how it changes. Well, a woman lets a man put his penis into her vagina. It says exactly the same thing right, but it changes the power structure. I know what you are thinking, what power structure? The first sentence says the a man puts his penis in a woman, it doesn't give consent, that is implied, but since it is only implied, it doesn't have to be there. The second sentence doesn't just imply consent, it is a must. If we started using different language when we are talking to kids, it can change the culture. It won't happen over night, but it can happen within the span of a generation. It's not saying to make boys weaker, it is empowering the girls. It is saying that they have power over their own bodies. We have neglected that for far too long.

     It is all very simple. Choose your words wisely, when you talk about sex with your kids. Words have power, even when it doesn't seem like they do. You can be the start of changing a culture that has gone on, well since the matriarchy fell in very ancient times. Don't get me wrong on this either, I'm not calling for a matriarchy, but would that really be a bad idea? What I'm calling for is equality. If we treat our kids with equality, they will grow in equality, and they will share equality. Change can happen. It's all up to you. Peace in and goodnight.