Stress, Health, And Grilling

     This weekend has been a rough one. My mom has been in rare form and I'm at my wits end. Everything I've been doing to help get her away from sundowners, is kind of turning against me right now. This could just be a transitional phase or something, but it is so hard to deal with. The one thing that helps a little is when family calls her, but since it's the weekend, they are off, which leaves me to deal with this all to myself. I have no time to myself to get things done until she goes to sleep, and that has been  tough call this weekend as well. I give her a sleepy time tea each evening which has been helping but the last few days have been a no go. She is up right now, while I'm trying to write this, so I have one eye on this and one on her. The only time I get to myself is if I wake up very early in the morning.

     I woke up at 4:15 this morning and it still wasn't early enough, because she woke up by 5 and was roaming around the house. I knew then that today was going to be a rough one. I did manage to get my cardio in and my reading done for the day. Right now I'm working my hardest not to stress eat. I'll get to the results of this maintenance and restructuring week in a moment, but the one thing I have not beed doing is snacking of any kind, and that could end up being ruined if I stress eat tonight. The impressive thing though, that if I end up stress eating (which I know won't make things better) I will be eating fruits and nuts. Once again this week has been the absolute healthiest unhealthy week of all time.

     Now that my tragedy is over (only on the screen) I guess now is a great time to discuss about what I've been doing this week eating wise. My only goal for this week was to restructure my metabolism and give it a kickstart for some fat burning by eating a few more carbs. I was still limiting myself and worked to keep them under 50 grams. I did way better and on most days kept them below 30 grams which is my normal macro for carbs. The bulk of my carbs came in the morning from a single rice cake with almond butter. The rice cake alone was 8 carbs. That is absolute torture for me now to eat that many carbs in one item. My intake for breakfast was around the 20 carb mark which left little room for the rest of the day. Beside the rice cake and almond butter, I had strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries. By the way, if feels like I discovered blackberries for the very first time. I don't remember them tasing so good. Eating whole healthy foods has definitely changed my tastebuds for the better. The fruit would measure out to a cup, and I would also have a quarter cup of Macadamia and walnuts. Oddly enough this was like the best breakfast ever.

     I also kept to a mostly vegetarian diet for the week. I only had meat three nights. I say vegetarian since I would have cottage cheese for my lunch, sometimes with hemp seeds mixed in for added protein. It was a challenge finding the right mix of vegetables so that I wouldn't go over my carb mark and still get the proper macros for the rest of the night, but I managed to do it. Although I enjoyed this week, it isn't a sustainable way of eating for me right now. I just don't have the knowledge of what vegetables I need for my proper macros yet, but I'll get there.

     With all that information in place, my goal of kickstarting and restructuring my metabolism for exceeded what I had in my head. I expected to gain weight this week or at the very best scenario, maintain my weight so that I could head into another week of some heavy fasting. I did more than just maintain, I actually lost weight at a rate that I didn't think was possible for me at this point. I weighed in last Sunday at 158 lbs. My hope was to stay around 160 with the expectation that I would exceed that. I weighed in today at 153.5. I was blown away at what had happened. I can't be sure that it was the way I was eating, because I also upped my workouts. I upped my cardio in the morning and added a cardio session at night right before I went to bed, and yes it helped me out with sleeping each night. I also pushed myself during my workouts in the evening. Oh, did I mention I do calisthenics type workouts almost every evening? I have been noticing the changes in my body as they have been increasing and as my dietary consumption has been on point. I should also say, that I did no snacking with the exception of a small fruit bowl one night after my evening workout. I also did a minor form of intermittent fasting by not eating after my last meal, which was around the 4 pm mark until the next morning at some time after 10 am. I wasn't holding myself to fasting which is why I had the small fruit bowl that one evening. I had no guilt for breaking a fast by doing it that way, and once again, I made an extremely healthy choice vs. what I would have done in the past. I only had one protein bar this entire week as well. Processed foods where out, and I really loved it.

     I think in the future I won't feel so bad when I want to have a piece of fruit, I will of course stick to the keto friendly fruits which are the berry family. Plus those blackberries are in season and the old me would have eaten an entire tub in a sitting rather than only have 4 or 5. That is an amazing accomplishment in itself. I will also be incorporating this type of breakfast in more often than not. I did make a change to it today, and eliminated the rice cake. I just scooped out a tablespoon of almond butter and a tablespoon of Pili nut butter and dipped my berries in it. Took the carb total down quite a bit and it was rather delicious. You should give it a try some time. You will love it.

     Baby Girl Gauge is having her surgery on Tuesday, and I'm losing my mind. Yes it's just another thing that's causing me stress, but I'll get through it. I'm going to find some late night time to hit the actual gym this week to relieve some of that stress. That is what my workouts are for, and right now they are the only thing holding me together. As I said earlier, I get up some time between 4 and 5 do my cardio for as long as I can, which as I said has increased a lot lately, then I read. Oh, did I mention that I finally finished a book that I've been reading for two years now? This 100 days has been fantastic. I'm starting a new book tomorrow and I have the new book by Stephen Chobsky coming on Tuesday. If you don't know who that is, he is just the author of my all time favorite book Perks of being a Wallflower. Remember when I always talked about the book and the movie? This one is a horror in the vain of his hero, that other Stephen. The King of horror himself, Stephen King. I remember reading and interview when he was talking about the idea and was finally starting on it, so I'm excited to finish this book I'm starting tomorrow and getting on to that one. Back to BGG. Her ears, well one of them, the worst one, has been bothering her again. I still had a little of one of the antibiotics left, so when it bothers her, I squirt some in and it comes her down after a while. It lasts about two days, which since I put it in today, she should be good until her surgery. I don't have the details on how long the surgery will be, do I pick her up that day, or does she have to stay overnight, so I'm stressing about all that stuff that I have no control over. I try to remind myself of that, but it still creeps into my head, amongst a ton of other things. I really need a day to myself, just one day, and I know I would be golden. Even when my mom goes out with a family member, I have to run to go grocery shopping and then get back to the house before they come back, so that is 2 maybe 3 hours tops, and I don't get really anything done during that time, because I don't have a time frame on what I can begin. I'm working my way through, but it's not easy at all, and I didn't expect it to be.

     I finished the tables on time and had a little cookout yesterday, and it was fantastic.

      That is the set up for when there is no grill going, but when the grill comes out, I move the large table in front of the chairs. I'm thinking about putting wheels on it, so that it will be easier to move from spot to spot, but that won't be for a while.

     Not a bad little set up right? I did the top in the red, which seems very noticeable, and the legs in the gold natural. I think it looks pretty good. Polyurethane to coat it from the elements so that it will last for as long as I hope it does. I'm going for a few years or so, maybe longer. I guess I should share the top of the grill so you can drool over my dinner.

     That little grill worked like a champ. It took care of two top sirloin steaks and 7 asparagus stalks. I seasoned them perfectly I might add. The reason I love this little grill, is that I can adjust the height of the grates. You might notice that the veggies are a little higher. You don't want those veggies right down on the coals. The need an indirect heat to cook properly to save those nutrients. It was a really good meal, and I'm looking forward to grilling out there again.

     I guess now is when I should mention that I'm going to take two weeks off and see how it all goes. I was thinking about this being my last post until those two weeks are up, but I do feel obligated to update you on Baby Girl Gauge, so I will wait until next Sunday to shut it down for two weeks. This time I'm going to hold to the two weeks, and not come back early this time. So for now, peace in and goodnight.

We Have A Date

     Baby Girl Gauge has her surgery scheduled. She is to go in Tuesday morning to have it done, and it couldn't' come at a better time. Just two days ago her ear started bothering her again, so she is going to finally get that taken care of, and then I'm hoping to finally sign the papers to officially make her mine. Trust me, she isn't going anywhere no matter if the papers are signed or not.

     The last few days, she has been so happy and playful. Chasing Morty around the yard, and that menacing bark I talked about on Tuesday night. What? You didn't know about that? Of course not, because my readership for the site was down so low, that only 1 person read it. Oh well that gives me more reason to want to, at the very least take a two week break from all of this.

     If you don't follow the website on the Facebook page, then you didn't see that I updated the keto cookie recipe. I made them again last night, and they were pure perfection. The only thing I did differently was the time I baked them. I only left them in for 12 minutes. I could do this because I had two large pans, and didn't have to switch baking sheets off of pans. This also helped keep them none piece. That was a problem the last time. The cookies are very soft and delicate when they come out, so they need a good 15 minutes to a half hour to cool and harder. The 12 minute mark of baking allowed them to harden but left them just soft enough to be exactly like a so called "real" cookie. I put all the same ingredients so this batch was vegan as well, and I don't know if I will ever try the recipe with an egg and diary butter. They are just so good, I don't see any reason to try anything else.

     I have to tell you that I am on a steep weight loss right now. My goal this week was to spur my metabolism and it has worked way better than I thought it would. I only expected to maintain my weight for this week. I'm not even going to give you a number yet. I will tell you that I am on the better side of reaching my latest goal weight, which as I'm approaching may not be the ultimate goal. I am not at a point where the weight doesn't matter, it is more about my appearance. Before you start wondering if I'm getting into dangerous territory in my weight loss. One look at me would tell you otherwise. The only problem with that, is that I'm not going to take any photos until I reach a place where I feel that I'm so close to my ultimate appearance, that I'm willing to share those pictures. Other than my mom (who doesn't even know who I am) and a couple of other people, no one has seem me in a week, in photo or person, so the next time I take a picture to share, it should be a pretty drastic difference from the last photos I've shared.

     At the age of 48, I am getting the body I dreamed about as an 18 year old. Not only that, I'm feeling just as good if not better than I did when I was 18. My mobility is getting better, my energy levels are up radically, and I haven't had the slightest sniff of an illness since I started doing keto. I found out today one of the reasons that is possibly happening, and it's my use of Apple Cider Vinegar. I saw a video from a doctor today talking about why ACV is actually a bit of a miracle. If you look at it, it barely has any nutritional value, but it is a catalyst for so many other things in your body. Mineral and nutrient absorption, fat mobilization, brain function, heart health, and so on and so on. I'll probably write an article about it soon and let everyone in on the drink that I have every morning. It's not the tastiest, but I have grown to love it and crave it every morning.

     Today is day 50 of the 100 Days of Discipline and I'm doing great. I posted yesterday on the group page ( I post every 7 days ) and mentioned how I really didn't expect to last longer than a week due to my addiction to diet sodas. I really thought they would do me in, but that which was the most difficult task has become the easiest. I really have no desire for any flavored water or anything like that. There is also the health benefits I get from not putting all those chemicals in my body. I have no begun reading every morning after my cardio, which has become such a breeze that I'm constantly pushing myself harder and harder by increasing times. When I read I feel more clear headed and alert, and can focus more on what I'm actually reading. It's rather incredible. I have also taken to adding an extra cardio session at night right before I go to bed. That could also be a reason for my surprising weight loss this week.

     I am on schedule to have the outdoor tables ready by Saturday afternoon. The stain went on today. I did red on the tops and golden on the legs, and I think they look pretty good. Tomorrow the polyurethane goes on, and if all goes right, they should dry overnight and be ready for some outdoor grilling on Saturday.

     I can't wait to get that polyurethane on and see them shine. It's all weather treated wood, so I really shouldn't need that kind of protection, but I'm putting it on anyway, because why not protect the protection.

     I'm still struggling with getting into the right mindset to finish The Violet Dahlia. I need to be alone so that I can get into my own head, and I can't do that right now, due to my mom. She fades real fast when no one is in the room with her for more than a half hour. She believes that she has been left alone and gets very angry, so I have to stay in the same room with her for most of the time. At night I can't get into that mindset, because at the end of the day is when your mind starts to slow down and my creative flow is pretty much gone as well. I should skip a morning of reading and put it off til the evening and give that a try for writing. It might work. I'll have to give it a try and see. I know where the story is going to go, it's just a matter of how it gets there, and I don't have that direct path yet, so that is where the problem lies. I'll figure it out.

     I'm out. It's been fun tonight despite the fact that only 1 person will probably read this, so to that 1 person, thank you so much. You are the one that is keeping me hangin on, an is the reason I will probably only take a two week break from this, just to refresh myself and see what direction this needs to go in the future. I may just not have "it" anymore, or I may be spreading myself thin. A two week breaks may be just what I need to reset myself. Peace in and goodnight.

Roar Like A Lion

     I finally truly heard Baby Girl Gauge bark last night, and it was eye opening. Morty's bark is fierce, and can intimidate people. Baby Girl Gauge is next level stuff. It is deep and menacing with pitches that rival a lion's roar. Have you ever heard a lion roar in open country? It's earth shaking. That is what her bark is like. It moves the ground beneath your feet. She is so docile and relaxed, so to hear her with that much power in her voice, was impressive.

     Did I mention that the peanut butter chocolate chip keto cookies were a massive success? They are really good and they were vegan as well. I'm going to make them again tomorrow night, since we are now out of them. My mom went crazy for theme, so they are going to be a main staple around here for as long as she loves them. I made a little chocolate treat last night. I took a bar of dark baker's unsweetened chocolate and melted it at a low temperature. I put a half cup of monk fruit in it with about a 1/8 of a cup of chopped walnuts. When I finished melting and mixing I poured out and flattened it on a baking sheet and then placed it in the fridge over night. I cut it all up into bite sized pieces this morning and gave it a try when  had my breakfast (remind me to talk about my breakfast this week so far). It was really good. Not too sweet with that wonderful dark chocolate bitterness to it. I may use more chopped walnuts when I make it again, but there is enough in the fridge to last for a week.

     Ok, back to that breakfast. I'm taking a break from the hardcore keto this week, and also the fasting. I'm still doing a sort of fast type protocol, since I finish eating around 4 and then don't eat again until after 10 in the morning. My breakfast is coming out keto friendly, but it isn't the best choice for a keto diet.

     The last 3 mornings my breakfast has looked a lot like that. Today I got rid of the peanuts and pecans in the nut bowl, and eliminated the grapes. I was getting a little bloat after breakfast and decided those were more than likely the culprits and I was right. I also didn't have the hemp seed on the almond butter rice cakes this morning. Trust me, this jacks my morning carbs up quite a bit. That means the rest of the day has to be rather carb free, and it has been working out pretty good. I've also stuck to a mainly vegetarian diet this week. I did have ground beef yesterday when I made tacos, but that was it meat wise for the last three days. I have had cottage cheese, and I have a Quest pizza today that had cheese on it, but that is it from the world of dairy. I have managed to stay in moderate ketosis which has been feeling pretty good. My ketones have been concisely above 1.3, but below 2.0, which is really right where I want to be. You want to hear the crazy thing? The whole reason I was doing my diet this way for the week, was to spur on my metabolism, and it appears to have worked. I am already down a few pounds for the week. I'll let you know how it all pans out by the end of the week, but I'm a little surprise at how well it's working out. Oh, and the reason I'm putting the hemp seed on the rice cakes, is for added protein. 3 tablespoons of hemp seed has 9 grams of protein, that is a great source of protein, that you should add into your diet if you can get ahold of some.

     I got my Sun Warrior bundle, well most of it, in the mail this week. The only thing missing is the thing I wanted the most, which is the Collagen powder. I'm looking for as many sources of collagen as I can get my hands on. If you don't know, collagen is the building block in hair, skin, and nails. Now, my skin has been unbelievably better since going keto, but anything can always be better right, and how great would it be, if I managed to grow back some hair. I have not fantasy that that will happen, but it could be possible. I'm healing all kinds of things in my body, why not broken follicles.

     These are all plant based supplements, and I've been a big fan of the Warrior Blend protein powder. I tried the CBD oil out last night for the first time. I've been hearing that it is great for sleep, and that is why I wanted it most. I have to say, that I had one of the deepest night sleeps I've had in a very long time last night. So much so that I nearly slept late. I like to wake up around 4:30 - 5, so that I can get my cardio and reading in before my mom wakes up. I only got the cardio done this morning, having woken up at 6. I may save that for nights when I'm feeling very restless, I don't want to oversleep. The Omega 3 is from algae and not from fish oil. It's the source that fish get their omega 3's. I added the liquid light to my morning ACV drink and it was fantastic. I'm saving the magnesium until I finish off one of my bottles of magnesium pills. I have been slowly increasing my magnesium and potassium intake, with some great results. My workouts last longer, and I have more energy for them. I also think this has a lot to do with my metabolism sky rocketing right now.

     I should be saving all of that for the website, but I decide to take a week of from writing articles and just promoting the articles I have up there, to see what kind of response I get from different days. I want to know what are the best days to post for readers, so this is the simplest way to do that. I'll start up with a new article next Monday, or if I find a day that works better, I may switch it to that day or days.

     I'm still thinking of what I should do with this blog. The funny thing is, that I write a post about how readership has drastically dropped off, and it is my most successful post for the past two months. Weird right? I do enjoy writing this, but if the readers aren't there, I don't really know why I should do it. It's kind of like spitting into the wind. I started this for two reasons, one to write on a more consistent basis, and with the new website, I won't have to worry about that. I have to come up with ideas for articles for at least two posts a week. Right now I'm doing three, so my writing schedule is full. The other reason was for the mental health benefit that I get from it. I get to spew everything out of my brain for a night and it has been very healthy for me. That is the one that makes it difficult to give this up. I have been thinking about just taking a break from it for a while. I've done two week breaks in the past, and have always come back early from those breaks, but maybe this time I'll do a full two weeks. I might just be burned out, and my writing may be suffering and that is why readership is down. I don't know, I don't get a ton of feedback on this, so I have to go with my own feelings. My new motto lately has been that I'll figure it out, so I guess that is what I'll do.

     I've been building those tables. It's going kind of slow, since I have to take my mom out to the garage while I do it. If I'm out there working on those and she is inside, she panics and thinks she has been left alone. I can't even take a long relaxing shower anymore without that happening, so I have to do it much slower than I normally would, but I have gotten the tables assembled.

     Tomorrow I begin sanding them to get them all even all around. I'm hoping to get them both done, so that I can begin staining on Thursday. If I can do that, then I can put the polyurethane on Friday, and it should be ready for use on either late Saturday or Sunday. The whole purpose of these tables are to grill out in the back yard. I have a very small table top grill, that will go on the big table, and the smaller table will go between the outdoor chairs in the backyard. I am going to router the edges of them to make them look real nice, but other than that, I have no plans for carving anything on them. I just want them to look outdoors classy. So far they are coming along as planned. Yes, I did plan for the slow go of it. I knew I would have limited time to do this each day, and I'm getting done with as much as I plan each day. The sanding is going to be the toughest tough. I have a lot of sanding to do, and I really don't know if I can get it done in the time that I feel I have before my mom gets antsy each day. I'm going to work my tail off to get it all in tomorrow though. I'll have more pictures for you Thursday.

     Favorite Song of the Week is here, and it's one I've already posted, but this time it's going to be a live session instead of the official video. This is in honor of this album coming out today, so if you like the song, go out and get the album. This is by none other than Brittany Howard, lead singer of Alabama Shakes. She is doing her first solo album and so far from what I've heard, it is fantastic. I really didn't expect any less from Miss Howard. This is the live session of Brittany Howard doing "Stay High". 

     That's just a great song right there, and I hope you enjoy it. It's time for me to go. I got some reading to do, since I didn't get it done this morning. I prefer reading in the morning, it seems l like my brain is much more sharp, and I absorb things better. Oh well, I'll just read and follow along tonight and get back to early riser tomorrow. Peace in and goodnight.

Bob The Builder Is Back At It

     I've been giving some thoughts to either taking a long break from this blog, or shutting it down entirely. I'm not sure what I'm getting out of it anymore, and readership is down a great deal. I do still believe that it is a healthy release for me, and it does give me that practice of writing on a consistent basis, but I don't know if that is enough, since I'm writing for the website now as well. I'll give it some more thought and let you know later on if I'm done or not.

     In my forever quest of improving my health and discovering new ways to find out just how my health is doing, I learned something very new and fantastic today. It's called the GKI. It is your Glucose Ketone Index, and without giving anything away for a possible future article, it can help you out quite a bit. I checked through the GKI to see just where I was today. I should explain a little more why today was a good day to do this. I have not been strict today, in fact the past two days I haven't been strict. I'm not going to be doing any hardcore fasting for a week at the minimum, and I'm eating more like a normal person. I'm still remain within my normal eating, but with a  little extra. For example, for breakfast I had a rice cake cut in half with almond butter on one, and peanut butter on the other. Both had a sprinkle of hemp seed on them. I also had a bowl of mixed nuts: macadamia (of course), peanuts, and walnuts. Along the side was a giant strawberry, a handful of grapes, blueberries and blackberries (those blackberries were amazing). That alone shot my carb intake up pretty high, but still under my parameters for the day. Actually when I think about it, this was the most healthy unhealthy day I've ever done. Anyway, for the GKI you have to check your glucose and your ketones, plug them into an equation and you get a solid number that tells you how deep you are in ketosis. Even with the last two days I'm in moderate ketosis. That means I'm still being fueled by fat, and that is a remarkable thing.

     I love learning new things. I have always said that you should learn something new every day, and I want to be an example of that. Today was proof that I'm still learning. Some days the knowledge isn't that big or game changing, and that is ok. Knowledge is power, and it is your responsibility to gain as much power through knowledge as you can.

     That my friends is the start of my next wood project. It isn't the pull-up bar that I want to do. I still haven't figured out how to get 10 foot 4x4s into my car. Those are 2x4x8s, so plenty of room. Back to the project though. The plan is to take that wood and turn it into two outdoor tables. One is for grilling, and the other will be a small table to go between chairs. I have a plan in my head for what I'm going to do, but as you know that always changes as I go. I will update you as I go, and I hope to be done so I can get some grilling done by the end of the week or the weekend.

     I guess that is all I have for tonight, but since no one is actually reading this, I don't feel so bad. Peace in and goodnight. 

I'm At It Again

     I'm trying out another baking recipe, and I won't be able to taste it until tomorrow. I'm right in the middle of a 36 hour fast, so what else would I do other than baking a tasty treat. I modified a peanut butter cookie recipe to make it keto and vegan. I don't know how the vegan part is going to work out. The only thing in the recipe that I didn't have a substitute for was a large egg. I used two tablespoons of vegan mayo instead. I've heard of people using mayo in cake recipes and what not, so I figured I could use that as the binder. The first batch didn't bind well, so I did the second batch a little different in how I placed them. Normally you just place a ball of dough on the sheet and it flattens as it bakes. For the second batch I flattened the balls out so they would cook more evenly and the result is below.

     If this works out, I'll put the recipe up on the website tomorrow, since I don't have an article written yet. I already have the breakdown worked out, and the macros are once again almost perfect. My only concern is the binding at this point, so I'll just have to wait and see. The second batch is cooling as I write this. I'm going to let them sit for a half hour before putting them in a container. I'll know then if they are going to hold together. If they don't I need to find a vegan egg substitute. I'll of course put the recipe up for vegan and non vegan. I know the egg would definitely make the difference if they don't hold together.

     The new TPR is up right now, and it is the debut of Guy on his own. I already got a comment on the video saying that I was missed. I thought it would be a few videos before anything like that would happen, but there you have it. Here is the video so you can check it out yourself.

     He also wrote the piece. I only went back and corrected a few things and omitted odd narrative choices. I did make him go back and rewrite it from his standard "What I did on summer vacation" essay. I think he did a pretty good job. I guess it is up to our followers to feel the same way.

     So far, the video is doing ok despite the fact that the link on Facebook has no thumbnail pictured on it. I'm not sure if that is YouTube or Facebook that is causing that, but they need to get their stuff together. It's definitely costing us views. Who wants to click on a link of a gray bar with YouTube on it?

     I'm going to make this short, because Baby Girl Gauge is staring at me and grumbling. She has been doing this a lot lately. She is craving serious attention lately. For such shy girl when she first got here, now she's a bossy little lady. Ok, I'm out, enjoy your weekend and I'll tell you how the cookies came out on Sunday, unless the recipe goes up on the site, in which case you can check it out there. Peace in and goodnight.

Closing In On 150

     I have yet to write tomorrows article. I was about to, and then someone came by the house that I wasn't expecting and ruined the whole mind frame I was in. I have an idea for the article, so I'll write it tomorrow morning. I have my unofficial deadline of 3pm. That's plenty of time to get it written, a photo picked out, and have it finished and ready to post.

     I'm starting a 24 hour fast today. In fact, I'm already a few hours into it. I break fast tomorrow with some bone broth then I have a decent meal, and then start a 36 hour fast to get me to the end of the week. I have my eyes on that 150 mark, and I'm going to get there sooner than later.

     I took my mom out for some pizza yesterday, it really messed up my macros, but it was worth it to see how happy she was. She still has no idea who I am, or at least that I'm not me, but someone that she is related to. It was a tough go at the pizza place, she is in the arena of a toddler now when it comes to eating. She either doesn't really know how to use a fork anymore, or can't see well enough to use it properly, so finger foods is the way to go most times. A whole slice of pizza was a bad idea. She picked it up and it ran off onto her lap. After I cleaned her and the floor up, I cut the pizza into bite sized pieces and gave her the fork. She discarded the fork and just went with the fingers. There weren't any further mishaps after that, so it was all good. I took the rest of the pizza home for the dogs, which they loved. We had a white pizza, despite it not be keto at all, It was a decent choice. I had two slices, with the exception of the third of a slice I gave to my mom from mine. She wanted a small piece, and the pieces were kind of big, and I had two thirds left, so I cut a third off the back end and gave it to her, so my macros aren't as bad as I have them typed into my phone. My carb total for the day was 52 grams, which is atrocious, but it isn't too bad. I should already be back in ketosis, as a matter of fact, I can feel the tell tale signs of it.

     After you are in ketosis for a lengthy amount of time, you begin to notice a certain way that you feel, and I already have that feeling. Yesterday, because of the carbs, I felt wired and jittery. I'm back to calm, cool, and collected. I'm really looking forward to theses two fasts that I'm doing this week.

     Oh, I posted the link to my website on the 100 days group page, and the President of Double Under Wonder dug it. I'm hoping to cultivate this relationship into something good for both of us. I talk about his jump ropes, which I love, so it's not hard to pitch for him, and maybe he pushes people my way as well. We both win in this. I have given a little more thought to what I would do for another 100 day challenge, and I'm leaning towards a good one. It would be no processed foods what so ever. That would mean my bars would go, the protein powders, only natural foods. Sounds easy, but it's going to be tougher than you think. That's one, I still have to come up with 2 more. Oh, and the last two days, I've gotten my reading done in the morning while I'm drinking my water and ACV after my morning cardio workout. I've also been waking up quite a bit earlier to do this, so that I have some time to myself before my mom wakes up.

     Favorite Song of the Week. Yeah I just went right into it, and I'm not apologizing for it. I posted a song from this artist not too long ago. It was the first single from her upcoming debut solo album. She is the singer for the band Alabama Shakes, and she is out of this world talented, and this song, which is kind of a throwback protest anthem type of a song, is nothing less than inspiring. I can't wait for this album to come out in just a few days. It will be out on the 20th, so you may want to add it to your music. Here is Brittany Howard with "13th Century Metal".



     That's good stuff right there, and don't even bother trying to argue with me, you are just wrong if you don't agree. Ok, that's all I have for tonight, I'll be back Thursday with something good. No, I don't have any idea what it is, but I'll find something that is good and have it for you. Peace in and goodnight.

Experimenting With Food

     I have been up to some experimenting. Not just the peanut butter cups (I'm calling them peanut butter bars for this batch), but with what I now know about food and the health benefits from eating the right foods. I'm experimenting with helping someone out with a debilitating disease. I won't go into any detail yet, because it is far too early for that, but I have seen some pretty drastic improvement. To the average person it probably would'd the noticed, but I have seen it, and it is encouraging. The idea in this is to use food as a way of elevating some of the problems from this disease. I have no dillusions of grandeur that this will cure anything. I am only hoping to make things easier for this person through healthy eating of non processed foods and good quality fats.

     That being said, the peanut butter bars are a success. I do need to tweak things a little, the chocolate for one. It still has a slight bitterness to it, but not unbearable. In fact I gave a bar to someone who isn't on any kind of a health kick and they loved it, and didn't believe that there was on sugar in it whatsoever. I will be gathering the ingredients for another batch in a couple of weeks. I will actually make cups the next time and have true numbers for you. I do have numbers for each bar this time around after cutting them up. 1 bar is a serving so per serving the breakdown reads as this: 134 calories, 2 net carbs, 12g fat, 4.5g protein. I know what you are thinking, a 134 calories seems like an awful lot. Here is a comparison for you, a Little Debbie brownie with walnuts has over 200 calories and is nowhere near as healthy, so there you go. I could have even cut them down to a smaller size. Oh, the reason I looked up the brownies, is because I cut them to a standard brownie size. They are deadly though, I have limited myself to 2 a day. The first day I had 3. I could have easily eaten the entire pan, but that would defeat the purpose of it being a dessert treat used to follow a meal.

     Oh, I do want to share this video with you of Baby Girl Gauge doing the Bully Waggle in the backyard. This is the first time I have seen her do this.

     I love a happy dog. I guess it's time to update you on the results of the 48 hour fast. Remember when I told you I was close to hitting that 50lbs mark for weightless? I blew through it. I felt really good that day and really considered going through to a 72, but I'm going to hold out until Oct. I weighed in that morning a few hours before breaking fast at 167.5. I was blown away. I was only expecting to be around 159 tops. As you may or may not know. You immediately gain weight after braking a fast. How much depends on how you break that fast. I was on a mission to take all of my knowledge to have the best results I could possibly have. I weighed in on Saturday morning at 158.5. That means with all the eating and water consumption after the fast, I gained 1 pound. That was way more than I had hoped for. I completely expected to weigh in at 160 or even 161, but I held the weight loss and locked in that 50lbs mark for lost weight. I couldn't be happier with the results of this fast, and I will take that knowledge into the next one which by the way will be a 24 hour starting Tuesday. I will also be doing another 36 starting Wednesday. Yes that is back to back fasting with a meal in between. I'm pretty excited for this and am looking forward to doing this quite often from here on out.

     People you can heal your body with food. I plan on writing an article about this very subject soon, if not this week. Here is the list of things that have changed as a result fo my new lifestyle. My psoriasis is gone, my skin is improved and feels better, I no longer suffer from migraines, my allergies are non existent,, my heart rate has gone down significantly, I no longer feel lethargic during the day, and last but not least, my anxiety and depression are so far back in my mind that I don't remember what it was actually like. That last one is huge and I attribute all of this to the keto lifestyle. I'm not saying that its a cure all, but I can't argue with the results that I exhibit myself. I'm leaner, healthier, and most of all happier, and isn't that all you really want out of life. Yes, this lifestyle is hard, and takes a lot of work, but if a schlub like me can do it and be successful, then you should be able to do it without a problem. I'm always working on recipes and options for keto meals, and will be putting them up on the website as soon as I can. The goal is to not eat dirty, which means any processed type of food. Yes you can do dirty keto and be successful, I am proof of that. The bars that I eat from time to time, the chips, the homemade peanut butter bars, are all dirty options, but they can help you get through the transformation from going high carb loaded with sugar to low carb no sugar. I'm really hoping to help people out so go check out howuketo.com

     Alright, I'm done with the shameless plug and I'm out of here. Peace in and goodnight.

I'm A Master Baker, Hey No Vulgar Pun

     I am 35 hours into a 48 hour fast right now, and I officially crossed out of the 160's into the 150's. I still have 13 hours before I can eat, which I'm looking forward to, but I'm feeling really good right now. I had big plans yesterday for an afternoon meal and when it came time for it, I just wasn't hungry, so I started my fast a few hours early. I only had a late breakfast that was decent in size, but I should have been hungry when I had planned for it. Not really complaining, just showing you that listening to your body always works out right.

     I joined a Facebook group for this 30 day keto challenge I'm doing, and it has been interesting to say the least. There are a lot of people trying keto for the first time, and I'm already seeing a lot of them making those mistakes that I made. They watched Thomas DeLauer's video, but they can't stick to it, and keep falling off. Sugar addiction is a real thing, and it was the thing I struggled with in the beginning, but once you kick it, your eyes will open to an entirely different world. I've been passing along knowledge in the group and encouraging people with my own story, to show them that they can do it as well. I haven't promoted the website there, even though I have seen others do similar things. I just don't feel it's right when it is someone else's party. It would be a quick way to get a few followers, but it's not worth it.

     I do believe I am beginning to develop a bond with the owner of double under wonder. We have been commenting on each others posts in the 100 Days of Discipline group. He is a good guy and write some really great newsletters for the company. I told him as much. He is considering doing another 100 days after this one is done with new goals. I told him I would have to think about what three new goals I would want to do, but I was in. This is going to be a struggle, since I have already changed so much about myself and my health, but I'm going to give it a lot of thought and come up with 3 new ones.

    Speaking of those goals, I mentioned in my last update in the group, that I am now drinking over a gallon of water a day since switching over to only water and green tea. It turns out a small goal can become something huge in a very short while if you stick to it.

     I watched an interesting documentary tonight called The Magic Pill. It's about the ketogenic diet, and how it is really helping people change their lives. I won't go into detail here, because I think it will be an article this coming week on the website, but if you have Netflix, and you are thinking about taking my lead and going keto, you may want to give it a watch.

     I possibly developed a really good snack (please don't really snack, when I say snack I mean more of a dessert type food) that is not only super keto, but also vegan.

     This is a test sheet, I say test sheet because I don't have the proper pans to make actual cups, of Peanut Butter Cups w/ Macadamia Crumbles. I got to thinking the last two days about what I could do that would be keto and candy like. I keep seeing all these companies selling stuff that they say is healthy and keto and when I look at the nutritional facts on the package, they are complete garbage. I took a little of my now how and creativity and came up with this. I must give credit for the Macadamia nuts on it to Elie. I wasn't thinking that way and she misheard me say macadamia nut oil and thought it was just he nuts, so I ran with it. It's basically peanut butter, olive oil butter, swerve (sugarless sweetener) macadamia nut oil, almond milk, sugarless dark chocolate morsels, and monk fruit. It is sitting the fridge right now. I have not eaten any of it, since I'm on that 48 hour fast, but it smelled really good. I can't wait to try it tomorrow after my meal which is going to be super clean. If it all works out, I'm going to do it again, and make them cups and have only monk fruit and no swerve in it. I do have the breakdown on nutritional value, but I'll save that for the recipe article. I did put them up in a Facebook post, but I don't have the numbers for each piece yet, because I have no idea how many pieces I will get out of it just yet. I did do a breakdown if it was ten pieces though so you can get an idea. By the numbers, it is the most keto thing you can eat. I'll see how it goes tomorrow.

     I have not written the final part of The Violet Dahlia. it has been so hard to get in the right frame of mind for it, but I'm going to hunker down and get it done tomorrow. If I don't, you won't see it on Saturday Morning. Anyway peace in and goodnight.

Rollercoasters Are Fun, But Not This One

    The rollercoaster ride with my mom keeps on a going. Yesterday was a pretty good day, until a family member called and started talking about moving her with them. My mom fixates on that and a lot of confusion ensues. She is torn between thinking that she has to move there, and not wanting to move there, and wanting to move there. Then she began asking me where I was (not I as in me but I as in her son), so that she could talk to me about it and see what I thought. I gave the standard answer of he is busy and is working to take care of things, but that I'm sure he would want her to dowaht is best for her.

     Today was a bust from the start. I could tell that the confusion had set in first thing in the morning, but I was going to make the best of it. I had a plan for distraction by taking her to see The Lion King. While I was taking a shower, apparently she had a full on confused moment. When I was getting out of the shower, I could hear her using Alexa to call another family member to ask what was going on, because she was left all alone. Bad day, see. We went to the movie and it was great, a true Disney classic, and she enjoyed it as well. When we got home I began preparing dinner, and when I went out to eat, she told me all about going to the theater to see a movie, and how great it was. I just once again went along with it, and told her I was glad she had a great time. A little later the confusion started up again, and she told me that I didn't have to stay, and that I could go home. She would be fine, she would just lock up behind me and go to sleep, but I told her I had to stay and that she would be alright. I tried once again calling a family member and as usual, they weren't available, and their phone was turned off or something. I asked them to be available, but they just can't bring themselves to do that. Then the wonder why I get mad and annoyed with them when they say they are there for anything and never are. So I just deal with it.

     Enough about that. About a week ago I posted a video on the How U Keto Facebook page from Thomas DeLauer, where he was asking followers to do a 30 keto challenge with him. Since I'm already doing full on keto I decided to follow along as well. He put up meal plans and all kinds of information on it, and he wanted everyone to try and start with a 36 hour fast going into it. I completely forgot about it until last night when he did a live update video. I didn't do the 36 hour fast even though I did a 43 hour fast late last week, so I'm kind of counting that. I also did my vegan keto day leading into it as well, and I went calorie deficit into a 24 hour fast today, so I'm on board, in just a slightly different way, so I'm still in. The bonus is that I hadn't really altered my eating much since my last 28 days, so I'm already eating clean keto, and am still working on that last 10 lbs. Which reminds me. I have weighed in at 160 lbs, but since it was only once, I'm not counting it as me hitting the 50 lbs of weight loss yet. I will only count it when I weigh in twice in a row at that, or I exceed that weight, w which I haven't done yet.The next 28 days at this point are going to be going along with his 30 day challenge, and we will see if I can get there in this span of time. I'm boosting my cardio, and I will be going slightly above his plan and will be doing a few 36 and even 48 hour fasts during this time. In fact, I'm doing a 48 starting tomorrow around noon. My feeding window is going to be from 10 to noon and then I shut down for 48 hours. He is only asking people to do 16 hour fasts between windows. Basically skipping breakfast and eating lunch and dinner, or three meals between lunch and dinner. The reason I'm not sticking with his entire plan is, that I know what works for me, plus I have already utilized his plan before and built on it for my own needs, which is what he is telling everyone to do. Do the first week as he has laid it out and then adjust after that.

     One of the things that came out during his video, was why he was giving away all this information for free. I have heard bits and pieces of his story before. He was 280 lbs, and is now a solid and ripped 180 lbs. He broke down a bit and mentioned that hit was his way to giving back to the keto community for what it has given him. Which is why I started the website. I think I have information that can help people, and I want to give back in that very same way. This way of life will work if you put the time and commitment into it. True, it may not be for everyone, but you won't know if it's for you unless you try it, so if you are wanting to change your life, check out howuketo.com

     That's it for the shameless plug. It's time for Favorite Song of the Week. I came across this documentary about Prince, and of course I watched it, and it reminded me of one of his later songs. It was off a little known album called 3121. This was a great album and a bit of a throwback to his earlier funkier work. This could have easily been an album during the Revolution era but it was released in 2006. I immediately went into my iTunes and began playing it on repeat again. I bring you the one and only, The Purple One, The Minnesota Master, The Kid, The Artist, TAFKAP. Prince, with "Black Sweat".



     And, just because I don't have much to do other than write articles for the website, here is a picture of Morty looking very regal.

     Speaking of not much to do. I have been delinquent on finishing The Violet Dahlia. Since I have all of this weeks articles done and ready to go (pictures included), tomorrow is set aside to focus on and finish The Violet Dahlia. I haven't been in the right frame of mind to finish it. It's not a depression thing, it's me having to be in a certain mind frame for this story. I have to get into a noir frame of mind, and it's not very simple. I need to go back to a time I didn't exist and think like I'm in the 40's. It's fun, but not easy. Anyway, if things go right the final part will be up on Saturday in rough draft here, and then final draft on Medium. Once again, I'm putting them on Medium for free, so I hope you will check out the glossy product there.

     I'm off to finish watching AGT, which has been kind of disappointing this year, and then go to bed. Peace in and goodnight.

I Almost Went Vegan

     I had one plan today, and I blew it. The whole idea for today, was to do a Vegan Keto day, and make it as clean and Keto as possible. I set the parameters of not exceeding 50 grams of carbs. I met that, by a very large margin. The day is nearly done, and everything is calculated in, and I'm sitting at 33 net carbs with only my Almond milk to go. Like I said it was already added in.

     Where I blew it, was on my dinner. I had it all planned out. Zucchini pasta with vegan meatballs and avocado oil, with seasoning. Simple right? When I opened the zucchini pasta, there was a little packet of pesto sauce. I didn't give it a thought other than, my day just got easier. I would simply add the sauce and not worry about the other spices. I cooked everything up with some diced onion, tomato and bell peppers. It smelled amazing. I served it up and took a bite and the scent didn't let me down. It was good, real good. A little too good. I noticed a creamy flavor, and thought something isn't right. I checked the back of the plastic tub it came in and read the ingredients. The pesto had skim milk and parmesan cheese in it. My vegan day was ruined. Still could count as vegetarian, but that wasn't the goal. I do believe that if I would have stuck to my plan and didn't put the sauce in and seasoned it the way I wanted to, it would have been even better. I will do this again, and next time I'll get it right.

     With that all said in done, I met the macros I expected. I did have to hold some things off the menu. I did have a vegan ice cream made with oatmeal for desert, but the carb content of just a serving was astronomical, so I'll save that for a day that I just eat like a gluten. All in all, I'm feeling pretty good despite the goof on my part for not reading the whole label. I am still looking for the right way to go about a vegan keto lifestyle. I just have to find the right sources of protein. I don't want to rely on processed vegan meats. I'm getting there, it's just taking some time.

    I have my articles planned out for this week. I haven't written any of them yet, and one will be due tomorrow at 3. I'll get it done. I did take the pictures I need for visuals on it. Wednesday will be all about today and what I ate and how it breaks down. Plus the recipe I would have made if I didn't take the easy way out and use that freaking pesto. Friday will be a review of Rebel Ice Cream. I already have that picture as well. I bought a few pints of it yesterday and got a picture of them stacked up. It is really fun writing the blog about Keto. I'm not getting a big response, I'm getting a good response. I won't make any money off it yet, but I think it's going to grow. I see more of a response on Instagram even on days that I don't post, so I know it's grabbing people's attention. I just need to keep doing what I'm doing. It's going to be a slow burn, and I'm ok with that.

     The last few days of been really bad for my mom. She doesn't have any idea who I am any more. I'm beginning to wonder who I am myself from time to time. Each day I have to find out who I am by how she talks to me. Most of the time, I'm the man that works there, and other times, I'm her brother. She thinks she is in a facility down the street from her house, and she keeps wanting to go home. I find ways to distract her from that and it usually goes ok. When I try to tell her who I am, or someone else tries that, that is when she gets angry and violent, so I am no longer myself anymore. Not in the house. I can't put her through that frustration and anger, so I'm whoever she thinks I am.

     The downside of this, is who she feels about me. The person that works there, is great. Takes good care of her. Her son, has abandoned her, and doesn't care about her anymore. I had to tell her yesterday, that her son is busy working and taking care of things for her, and that is why he isn't here. I could hear the disgust in her voice, that her son hadn't come to see her, and it hurt. I know what I'm doing for her, but it still feels like I have abandoned her, since I can't look at her and have her know who I am. I'm gone in her eyes, even when I'm standing right in front of her.

     It gets me really down from time to time, and I wonder what will happen when she is gone. I don't know what I'll do. A family member has told me that they are going to get her to live with them, and she is wanting to do that now, but that could change in the next day. The thing is, if she goes and lives with them, it will more than likely be the last time I see my mom. I'm going to have to work my tail off to dig myself out of the whole I'm currently sliding down into, so the chance of me going to be able to visit, is non existent. It will be goodbye when she leaves, and she won't even know she is saying goodbye to me. It will simply be the man that works there. She will thank me for taking good care of her, and that will be it. I guess I'll figure it out when that time comes, if it ever does. Peace in and goodnight.

I Still Have Power

     Made it though Dorian and didn't lose power. This is truly a first. We usually lose power in any storm that has 35 mph winds, and we had at least sustainable winds of 35 during the night. It didn't even wake me up during the night which is also a first. I've always woken up and went outside in the middle of the night to check things out, but no need this time. The good news is, that I have plenty of ice for whatever comes next.

     The ASPCA called me today and asked if I could bring Baby Girl Gauge in for her treatment, and I did, so I'm a little bummed tonight. I think Morty is too. He has been moping around all day cause his buddy isn't here to hang out with. I get to pick her up tomorrow afternoon. If things go well, this will be her last treatment for heart worm, so I'm crossing my fingers that this is the end of that, and we can get on with the ear surgeries. Everyone at the shelter loved how great and healthy she looked. Mind you, she is not at her best when she gets out of the car. She still has a lot of anxiety in the car, but I've found that if I keep her in the front  seat, I can keep it in check, so it's not as bad as it has been, but still, she's a slobber monster in the car. My dash is proof of that. Better that than her obsessively licking the rear window.

     I hope that you checked out the 72 hour fast article on the website, if you haven't, then here is a link for you to look at it. I really want people to give this a try, and I will help out along the way and give you tips if you need them. I did get an article written for tomorrow as well, and it explains the virtues of cottage cheese. Yeah, it's actually pretty exciting.

     As I mentioned earlier this week I did get a video up for TPR, and here it is.



     It's a little different from what we normally do, because I was expecting to have something from my partner. This was very last minute, but I didn't want to miss our deadline schedule. It's not pretty, but it's done, and I'm oddly proud of it. I'm not going to do this every time though. I make that clear in the video. He has to come up with something in a week and a half if he wants me to put my mark on it. I have his back, but only if he does something to back up.

     That's it for tonight. I'm going to go watch a few more episodes of Carnival Row, on Prime. It's pretty good, and I'm enjoying it so far. Oh yeah, that reminds me, 13 Reasons Why has released it's 3rd season. I liked it, but it went a little off the track from the first two seasons. I still say that you should watch it with a friend, even though they have edited out the suicide scene in season 1. The scene is not the trigger in that season, it is everything that leads up to it. That scene stands out because it was very graphic. Anyway, give it or Carnival Row a try, they are both great shows.

Peace in and goodnight.

I Still Have Power.

     I still have power, so let's write this while I can. Actually conditions aren't that bad right now. It's more like a stormy day rather than I Cat 3 Hurricane. I shut all the shutters except for the front window, but that one is protected by the front porch, so I can wait to close that one when things pick up.

     I failed to mention a big milestone Sunday night. Two actually, but they are both related to my weight loss and new lifestyle. As I mentioned in the past, I was a wearing a size 36 pant. I really should have been in a 38, but that was a line I feared to cross. That was the point of no return, so I kept out of them. I put on my first pair of size 30 the other day, and I expected them to fit snug, but I was wrong. They were loose, and comfortable. As a matter of fact they were a perfect fit. The reason why I tried a size 30 is because my 32's were feeling baggy. Wow, never thought I would ever say that a 32 was baggy, but there you have it. The other milestone is my shirt size. I was wearing, and quite proudly I might add, a size XL. I thought that meant I was muscular and big. Once again, I was wrong, very wrong. I was enormous, but in all the wrong ways. I have been wearing mediums, and felt good about it, but I decided to try a small just to see. It fit just like the 30's did, perfect.

     The real amazing part about all this, is I still have quite a ways to go before I'm truly happy with how I look. I can wear a size small and 30, and it's not good enough. How great is that? With that being said, I'm currently wearing the baggiest clothes you can find. They are Thai fisherman pants and a cotton yoga type shirt. It is a look I always admired but could never pull off. You would think a baggy look would be good for a fat guy, but it's only certain baggy looks. This is that hippy natural fiber cloth look and I'm finally able to do it. If I had my way, I would dress this way all the time, but it's not practical for everyday living, but when I'm hanging around the house, it's perfect.

     I have tomorrows article for the website done and ready to go, but I haven't not come up with a good enough idea for Friday yet, and I do think I'm running out of time. You know, power loss coming and all. Tomorrow is about the upcoming 72 hour fast and how to properly go in and out of it. I highly suggest reading it if you want to know how to do any kind of fast. I also detail how you should train your body for it, so that it will be as uncomfortable as possible. Although the whole idea of a long term fast is to cause a shock to the body and make it uncomfortable. It will be up tomorrow at 3pm New York time. It's good stuff.

     I can't remember if I mentioned it or not, but I did create a video and review for the TPR. I could see the writing on the wall, and it looked like we were going to miss a deadline of having a video every two weeks. I don't know what happened. I told my partner that I would edit any video he came up with or punch up any review that he had, but I haven't heard word one from him since telling him that, so I had to once again take matters into my own hands, and create something to keep this boat on course. I won't be able to do this every time, because it would just seem bad. This is a once in a while thing. If I did a frozen pizza review every two weeks, it wouldn't be the TPR. He needs to step up if he wants this to continue.

     I don't have a Favorite Song of the Week or a Favorite Thing of the Week, so I'm just going to leave you with a picture of Baby Girl Gauge sleeping on a chair. Peace in and goodnight.

I Got No Title

     I have two articles in the bank for this week on the website, and I'm really excited about the one I just wrote. I did the reread on it, and I really liked it. I think you will as well. That will be coming up on Wednesday. Probably when I will have no power what so ever. Oh yeah, there is a storm coming closer if you haven't heard yet. I'm prepared other than closing the shutters and putting the lawn furniture away. I still have until tomorrow to get that done.

     My mom is asleep now, or at least I think she is. It was rough at the end of the day here. She got in to her conspiratorial mode, and unfortunately a family member got dragged into it, and she ended up yelling at them. This is when she won't believe who I am, and screams that she never had any boys. I generally just back off at that point, but I needed her to take her medication which she still refused, so I had to let it go. She will be ok if she misses it one night, but she will have to take it tomorrow. I hope tomorrow goes smoothly. This storm is not helping. I keep the news off the tv as much as possible so that she isn't consumed with horror stories of devastation from a storm that is not even close yet. Speak of the devil, I think I hear her coming out her again, and she is pausing in the living room, so that means she is still in that strong state of confusion. This could be a long night.

     This is the picture I'm posting on the cover of tomorrow article. It's about relaxing, so I thought this was suitable since it happened just before I wrote it.

     That's the Baby Girl with her head on me. The best way to relax period. Yes she is heavy, but I don't care, that is true love right there. I made this plea in the article as well. Adopt don't shop. There are so many needy dogs in shelter that need a home, and you could give it to them. Don't worry that you are looking for a specific breed, they are out there, every size, shape, and color, just waiting for their fur-ever home. Give it to them.

     I did mention that Baby Girl Gauge's heart worm appointment is going to be rescheduled. I'm not sure when it will happen now, but they will call me to let me know.

     Mom update. She has come out, and she apologized for her behavior and has taken her pill. She is eating a bowl of Tillamook Dark Cherry ice cream right now. I only mention the brand because I have hard great things about it. I've never tried it. Not in the range of foods I can eat anymore.

     I did have what I'm calling a garbage day today. It was nothing like I've done in the past. I had one grape. It was a cotton candy grape, and yes, it tasted like cotton candy. Blew my mind, and I also had one Hershey's Gold Kiss. Believe it or not, one of those is only 3 carbs. Not ideal, but I got out of it what I wanted. The rest of my 2065 calories where made up of keto friendly goodness. I ate more, but in a clean and healthy way. That is how you do a garbage day. Oh, I still plan on having that Mountain Dew VooDew, when I finish my 100 Days of Discipline. That will be my garbage day reward, and the only time I will ever have it. Did I mention that day 100 is Nov. 29th. If I calculated right. I do have a countdown app that counts my days, so I will no the right day regardless, but if it is the right day, that means I will have a Saturday to enjoy that Dew. The 29th falls on a Friday, so I have to stay true to my goals for that day, and then 101 is that Saturday. It's kind of fun seeing just what I'm capable of.

     That is why I have been so good on keto and with fasting. I find it to be sort of a game, and I'm obsessed with winning it. The reward is the knowledge that I did it and saw it through, and that is the same thing with losing this weight. I am right on the cusp of the 50lbs mark. I have continually weighed in at 160.5 recently, so I'm almost there. I won't count it until I've hit 160 two times in a row. That how it is locked in for me. 160.5 is 49.5 lbs, and not 50, so I'm not there yet. I think my bullheadedness of not counting something like that as 50lbs has also kept me going. I don't want hollow victories, I want to see the actual number,  and then see it again. A goal is only accomplished when it is fully achieved. This isn't horseshoes or hand grenades. That is also probably my OCD kicking in as well, but this is a healthy version of it. I'll take that. Hey, I never said I was cured, I just said that this new lifestyle has put things away.

     Hmm, I'm sure I had more to say tonight, but I can't think of anything else. I guess I'll just sit around and wait for Fear the Walking Dead to come on. Oh yeah, a Harry Potter marathon is on, so I'll be watching that until Fear comes on. Peace in and goodnight.