Stress, Health, And Grilling

     This weekend has been a rough one. My mom has been in rare form and I'm at my wits end. Everything I've been doing to help get her away from sundowners, is kind of turning against me right now. This could just be a transitional phase or something, but it is so hard to deal with. The one thing that helps a little is when family calls her, but since it's the weekend, they are off, which leaves me to deal with this all to myself. I have no time to myself to get things done until she goes to sleep, and that has been  tough call this weekend as well. I give her a sleepy time tea each evening which has been helping but the last few days have been a no go. She is up right now, while I'm trying to write this, so I have one eye on this and one on her. The only time I get to myself is if I wake up very early in the morning.

     I woke up at 4:15 this morning and it still wasn't early enough, because she woke up by 5 and was roaming around the house. I knew then that today was going to be a rough one. I did manage to get my cardio in and my reading done for the day. Right now I'm working my hardest not to stress eat. I'll get to the results of this maintenance and restructuring week in a moment, but the one thing I have not beed doing is snacking of any kind, and that could end up being ruined if I stress eat tonight. The impressive thing though, that if I end up stress eating (which I know won't make things better) I will be eating fruits and nuts. Once again this week has been the absolute healthiest unhealthy week of all time.

     Now that my tragedy is over (only on the screen) I guess now is a great time to discuss about what I've been doing this week eating wise. My only goal for this week was to restructure my metabolism and give it a kickstart for some fat burning by eating a few more carbs. I was still limiting myself and worked to keep them under 50 grams. I did way better and on most days kept them below 30 grams which is my normal macro for carbs. The bulk of my carbs came in the morning from a single rice cake with almond butter. The rice cake alone was 8 carbs. That is absolute torture for me now to eat that many carbs in one item. My intake for breakfast was around the 20 carb mark which left little room for the rest of the day. Beside the rice cake and almond butter, I had strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries. By the way, if feels like I discovered blackberries for the very first time. I don't remember them tasing so good. Eating whole healthy foods has definitely changed my tastebuds for the better. The fruit would measure out to a cup, and I would also have a quarter cup of Macadamia and walnuts. Oddly enough this was like the best breakfast ever.

     I also kept to a mostly vegetarian diet for the week. I only had meat three nights. I say vegetarian since I would have cottage cheese for my lunch, sometimes with hemp seeds mixed in for added protein. It was a challenge finding the right mix of vegetables so that I wouldn't go over my carb mark and still get the proper macros for the rest of the night, but I managed to do it. Although I enjoyed this week, it isn't a sustainable way of eating for me right now. I just don't have the knowledge of what vegetables I need for my proper macros yet, but I'll get there.

     With all that information in place, my goal of kickstarting and restructuring my metabolism for exceeded what I had in my head. I expected to gain weight this week or at the very best scenario, maintain my weight so that I could head into another week of some heavy fasting. I did more than just maintain, I actually lost weight at a rate that I didn't think was possible for me at this point. I weighed in last Sunday at 158 lbs. My hope was to stay around 160 with the expectation that I would exceed that. I weighed in today at 153.5. I was blown away at what had happened. I can't be sure that it was the way I was eating, because I also upped my workouts. I upped my cardio in the morning and added a cardio session at night right before I went to bed, and yes it helped me out with sleeping each night. I also pushed myself during my workouts in the evening. Oh, did I mention I do calisthenics type workouts almost every evening? I have been noticing the changes in my body as they have been increasing and as my dietary consumption has been on point. I should also say, that I did no snacking with the exception of a small fruit bowl one night after my evening workout. I also did a minor form of intermittent fasting by not eating after my last meal, which was around the 4 pm mark until the next morning at some time after 10 am. I wasn't holding myself to fasting which is why I had the small fruit bowl that one evening. I had no guilt for breaking a fast by doing it that way, and once again, I made an extremely healthy choice vs. what I would have done in the past. I only had one protein bar this entire week as well. Processed foods where out, and I really loved it.

     I think in the future I won't feel so bad when I want to have a piece of fruit, I will of course stick to the keto friendly fruits which are the berry family. Plus those blackberries are in season and the old me would have eaten an entire tub in a sitting rather than only have 4 or 5. That is an amazing accomplishment in itself. I will also be incorporating this type of breakfast in more often than not. I did make a change to it today, and eliminated the rice cake. I just scooped out a tablespoon of almond butter and a tablespoon of Pili nut butter and dipped my berries in it. Took the carb total down quite a bit and it was rather delicious. You should give it a try some time. You will love it.

     Baby Girl Gauge is having her surgery on Tuesday, and I'm losing my mind. Yes it's just another thing that's causing me stress, but I'll get through it. I'm going to find some late night time to hit the actual gym this week to relieve some of that stress. That is what my workouts are for, and right now they are the only thing holding me together. As I said earlier, I get up some time between 4 and 5 do my cardio for as long as I can, which as I said has increased a lot lately, then I read. Oh, did I mention that I finally finished a book that I've been reading for two years now? This 100 days has been fantastic. I'm starting a new book tomorrow and I have the new book by Stephen Chobsky coming on Tuesday. If you don't know who that is, he is just the author of my all time favorite book Perks of being a Wallflower. Remember when I always talked about the book and the movie? This one is a horror in the vain of his hero, that other Stephen. The King of horror himself, Stephen King. I remember reading and interview when he was talking about the idea and was finally starting on it, so I'm excited to finish this book I'm starting tomorrow and getting on to that one. Back to BGG. Her ears, well one of them, the worst one, has been bothering her again. I still had a little of one of the antibiotics left, so when it bothers her, I squirt some in and it comes her down after a while. It lasts about two days, which since I put it in today, she should be good until her surgery. I don't have the details on how long the surgery will be, do I pick her up that day, or does she have to stay overnight, so I'm stressing about all that stuff that I have no control over. I try to remind myself of that, but it still creeps into my head, amongst a ton of other things. I really need a day to myself, just one day, and I know I would be golden. Even when my mom goes out with a family member, I have to run to go grocery shopping and then get back to the house before they come back, so that is 2 maybe 3 hours tops, and I don't get really anything done during that time, because I don't have a time frame on what I can begin. I'm working my way through, but it's not easy at all, and I didn't expect it to be.

     I finished the tables on time and had a little cookout yesterday, and it was fantastic.

      That is the set up for when there is no grill going, but when the grill comes out, I move the large table in front of the chairs. I'm thinking about putting wheels on it, so that it will be easier to move from spot to spot, but that won't be for a while.

     Not a bad little set up right? I did the top in the red, which seems very noticeable, and the legs in the gold natural. I think it looks pretty good. Polyurethane to coat it from the elements so that it will last for as long as I hope it does. I'm going for a few years or so, maybe longer. I guess I should share the top of the grill so you can drool over my dinner.

     That little grill worked like a champ. It took care of two top sirloin steaks and 7 asparagus stalks. I seasoned them perfectly I might add. The reason I love this little grill, is that I can adjust the height of the grates. You might notice that the veggies are a little higher. You don't want those veggies right down on the coals. The need an indirect heat to cook properly to save those nutrients. It was a really good meal, and I'm looking forward to grilling out there again.

     I guess now is when I should mention that I'm going to take two weeks off and see how it all goes. I was thinking about this being my last post until those two weeks are up, but I do feel obligated to update you on Baby Girl Gauge, so I will wait until next Sunday to shut it down for two weeks. This time I'm going to hold to the two weeks, and not come back early this time. So for now, peace in and goodnight.