I'm Done

     Something happened with my mom yesterday. I'm going to tell you every point of view that I can, and you can make up your own mind on what the reality truly is.

     While I was at work yesterday, I got a very strange sounding alert on my phone, so it made me immediately look at it. It was an Alexa call. That is a call to my phone from one of my Alexa devices in the house. It was my mom, she was on the floor and couldn't get up. I asked her if she was hurt, and she said no. I asked if she wanted me to call her an ambulance, and she said no. She only said that she needed me, so I told my mentor what happened, and I left at once from Orlando to head home. Normally that is an hour drive give or take a few minutes or so. I made it in 40. I won't fill in the incidentals about how I made that happen, but I'm sure you can figure it out. While I was driving home, I used the app on my phone to drop in on the living room to talk to my mom and get more details about what was going on. That is when she told me that she didn't fall and that she had gotten on the ground. I asked why, but she couldn't answer. I told her to use Alexa to call my nephew and hung up with her. He would have a better chance of getting to her before me, because he is only 20 minutes or so away.

     The rest of the ride was torture. I couldn't go fast enough to get there, but I finally did, ten minutes after my nephew did. I rushed in the house to find out what had happen. That is when my nephew began talking at me. Not to me, but at me. He said that she had fallen and that she had been on the floor for over an hour. I can't deny or confirm that time frame. I know for a fact that she was on the floor when she contacted me, and that was 40 minutes ago. I began asking her question about what had happened. My nephew began talking over her and at me again. I called the home healthcare service that was scheduled to find out when they were coming out, since they hadn't contacted me at all when they were supposed to. My sister began calling me. I was on hold with the care service, and couldn't talk to her. I told my nephew to call her to explain what was going on. He didn't. I do think he may have texted her. She called me back while I was still on hold. I told him to call her again. He didn't. I finally got the home care explained to me, and it was far different than what the Rehab facility had explained to me. They were only coming once a week and tomorrow would be the day.

      I finished with the call and began asking my mom questions again and asked her if she had tried doing what I told her to try to get down the small step into our living room. Before she could answer, the talking at me began again, this time at a higher volume. Then this came out. "She doesn't remember anything you tell her five minutes after you tell her. You can't expect her to do anything." That is when I lost it. I still stayed calm, and turned to my nephew and told him to "get out there" I was implying the kitchen. I needed to hear what she had to say, and not have him yell over her. I wanted information. He looked at me and said,"For real?" I said,"Yes, you need to get out there now." That is when he flew off the handle and said that he hated me, He had acted like he liked me for three years but that was over now. you need to handle this." He walked out of the house at that point. I truly didn't care, because I wanted to hear what my mom had to say.

     I began asking her questions about what had happened, and that is when she told me about a girl that had been there that was helping her. There was no girl there, that was all a delusion brought on by her dementia. She told me that the girl was helping her get better. Things began to make sense. I think, that my mom really believed that she was with a therapist, and got down on the floor per instructions. The big problem with that, is that she isn't supposed to drop her hips below her knees. She doesn't have the strength or ability to stand up from sitting on the floor now. I must add the she wasn't hurt at all. There was no pain or complaining about having felt any pain at any point.

    My sister finally got through to me, and instructed me on what had to happen. I was to call an ambulance and have her admitted into the ER and that she was to stay there until my sister got there. I told her that my mom didn't want to go, and that it wouldn't happen. They wouldn't take her. She kept insisting and then told me,"My mom comes first and this is going to happen." To me that implied that I had no say in the matter, and that my mom wasn't really my mom. I gave up and called the ambulance, and they did exactly what I said they would. They couldn't take her against her will, and I didn't have authority to make it happen. My sister called back while they were there, so I gave them the phone and let them talk to her. They told her what I had originally said, and they left after she was able to answer their questions, and stand on her own power.

     Despite the fact that I blew off my job for the rest of the day, and stayed with my mother, and built a smaller step so that it would be even easier for her to get up that small step in the living room, I am apparently a horrible person that does nothing for my mother. For years now, I have been cooking meals for her, I have been washing her clothes, and I have been cleaning up the occasionally accident in the bathroom when I knew about it. I have been there for my mom when she broke her hip. I was there for my mom when she collapsed in the parking lot of the grocery store. I have been there. They have spent very little time in comparison, but I am the terrible person that is doing everything wrong, and they are doing everything right.

     I might add that both of them told me that they were going to take care of certain things, and I took them at their word. None of what they said they were going to do happened until yesterday. Today my mother had an in home nurse that has spent the day with her. She is still her as per her schedule, because I don't know what my day to day schedule is. This service is very expensive, but it is something that I hoped was going to happened when the Rehab facility set something up, but what they set up wasn't what they told me.

     I'm exhausted from all that happened, and I'm done. I'm going to be there for my mom as I always have, but if I'm the terrible person to them, then that is exactly what I will be. Since they think I'm the most horrible person in the world, then they can think that. I will not do anything to try and win them over, and I will only be myself, but I am done. I will be cordial to them, but only as much as I need to be. Peace in and goodnight.